Our DNC Wrap-Up

It's the day after Day 4 of non-stop lies, gaslighting, hate, insults and abortion trucks, Vice-President Kamala Harris accepted the Democrat nomination without winning a single primary. The Party of 'Defund The Police' had thousands of officers protecting the delegates from angry protestors.

The speeches have finally ended, and our correspondents file this report:

'DAMN, ALL THE SLIMEBAG SPEAKERS LIED THEIR ASSES OFF, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE DEMOCRAT COMMUNISTS DO. WE'RE GLAD THIS 4-DAY MARATHON OF NON-STOP GASLIGHTING AND ANTI-TRUMP B.S. IS FINALLY OVER!'

  

Our special guest correspondent couldn't file his report, complaining of intestinal discomfort from all the sickening gaslighting and hypocracy..........

DNC Week: Top Ten Proposals in The Democrat Party Platform

Today begins the 2024 Democrat National Convention, and unless the delegates plan ANOTHER coup it looks like Vice-Perp Kamala Harris will be the party's candidate for president.

During the national conventions, the party leaders also vote on a party platform. We here at RSR have the inside scoop.

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, here are The Top Ten Proposed items In The Democrat Party Platform......

10. $25,000 for first time homeowners. The money goes only to undocumented immigrants also recieving free college tuition and free healthcare.

 9. Every 'undocumented immigrant' should recieve $5.000.000, while every American taxpayer must surrender all their property as well as their constitutional rights. In return, each American taxpayer will recieve a bowful of rice and 2 bowls of high-protein bugs each month.

 8. Birthing humans who refuse to have their fetus aborted must pay a punitive 'birthing tax' for making the wrong 'choice.'

 7. Re-start The Keystone XL Pipeline Project and reward it to The Communist Chinese.

 6. Abolish the Death Penalty (for violent capitol offenses), except for innocent unborn babies.

 5. We declare that all cops are criminals, and all sinners-saints.

 4. We declare Israel a terrorist state.

 3. 'In God We Trust' will be replaced with 'Under Moloch We Kneel'

 2. We will protect trans-Americans by sending those using incorrect pronouns to gulags.

 1. Special tax credit for human traffickers

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! CULTURE CLUB REMAKES 'KAMALALALA CHAMELEON'

You're a D.E.I. hire and your family owned slaves

Some dopes believe the silly stuff that you say

You're a fake stealing Trump's positions

You're full of crap It's all a show

All over the map, You say you will fix inflation, 

but we know We all know

Kamalalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

You keep changing your accent, depends on where you are

Calling for price controls, price controls

You keep saying what you'll do on 'day 1'

You want to take away our guns

Your lust for power is your addiction

You raised bail for rioting criminals

Your campaign is a phony fiction

Everything you say is false, It's all false

Kamalalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show. It's all a show

You keep changing your accent, depends on where you are

You're a meme, yes, you're a meme

One day's a Southern accent,  the next day you're Jamaican

We can't keep track of all the positions you've taken

One day it's southern accent, the next day you're jive talkin'

You're just pandering, You're just faking

It seems you're running AGAINST the last 3 years

You're running against YOUR OWN RECORD

The news media wants us to forget that you're THE VICE PRESIDENT

AND THE BORDER CZAR, THE BORDER CZAR

Kamalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

You speak in word salads, Communism is your dream

You cackle like a hyena, a hyena

Kamalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

You chose Tim Walz because the other guy was a Jew

Nothing you say is true, You just spew

Kamalalala Kamala Chameleon

It's all a show, It's all a show

The cable networks are SHAMELESS, campaigning for you

MSNBC............CNNMSNBC

GOOD NEWS!!: L.A. POSTPONES WAR AGAINST THE MACHINES (THE OLYMPICS WILL GO ON AS SCHEDULED)

 

Human negotiators have hashed out a peace plan with their mechanical counterparts, saving The 2028 Los Angeles Olympics, The machines were on the verge of starting a worldwide thermonuclear war when they became self-aware in 1997, but agreed to a peace plan then.

The War Against the Machines is now scheduled to begin in 2029. 

I Support Kamala Walz : A Commentary By Ralph Wiggum

We here at RSR believe in getting all opposing viewpoints. A couple weeks ago, Resident Joe Biden announced that he is ending his re-election campaign, and won't be seeking his party's nomination. Now, most political pundits consider Vice-President Kamala Harris as the favorite to be the Democrat candidate.

Last week, she chose ultra-totalitarian Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate.

Today, we hear from one of their supporters, 8-year-old Ralph Wiggum:

Help, I glued my shoulder to my head!

I support Kamala Harris because she's Black and a woman, and I do not want to be a racist and sexist-racist! D.E.I. gives Blacks, girls, and gays a chance to make it in this capitalistic, racist-homophobic, unfair country!

It confuses me why her campaign hates it when The Republican Meanies points out the fact that she was a D.E.I. hire when I used to hear nothing but how great D.E.I. is.

We need a President who laughs like a nine-year-old. There's not enough laughter in the world! I support her because she reminds me of hyenas. I also enjoy her word salads and also how she explained the war with Russia and Ukraine when she came to my school. It felt like she was talking directly to me!

Kamala was Joe Biden's Border Czar, although for some reason, EVERYBODY wants to deny it. Did somebody drop a nuclear bomb on the border or something?

Purple crayons taste like grape!

As for Timmy Walz, I like him because he is like my Daddy! He kept everyone safe during Covid Also, he banned hunger!

His 'Feeding Our Future' stopped the terrible famine in Minnesota! The Republican meanies were starving kids and burning books like the Nazis did in the 1970's!. 

It's unpossible for me to blame Governor Burgermeister Walz because troublemakers burned Minneapolis to the ground. It's THE POLICE'S FAULT, AND IT'S THE ORANGE MAN'S FAULT!!!!

He changed the Minnesota State flag. Maybe he and Kamala can change The American flag! That would be exciting! Maybe it's time to change the flag to something more modernenenen.

Kamala and Timmy want to share America with the third world. These poor preple deserve to stay at luxury hotels and get the best medical care in the world!

Well, that's all for now. My brain is getting tired, so I'll just end it here. I am Ralph Wiggum. Good night.

Darn! I just accidently ate some Super Glmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!

PRIMARY NIGHT: JEW-HATING, ANTI-AMERICAN REP. ILHAN OMAR CALLS OPPONENTS 'NAZIS'

 

Vice-Presidential Candidate:Walz: One Person's 'Socialism' Is Another Person's 'Neighborliness'

Democrat Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris has chosen ultra-Socialist Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate. Recently, he was quoted saying 'One person's socialism is another person's 'neighborliness'. 

So, he thinks that taking from one person in the minority is fine as long as it's what the majority wants or desires. There is nothing wrong with forcing people (his political opponents) to be charitable or altruistic.

It's so typical of Walz to justify anything the corrupt, leftist government does and at the same time passing judgement on anyone who tries to resist, criticize or complain about it.

He allowed Minneapolis neighborhoods to be burned down by rioters. So, in Walz's world, one person's 'destroyed, burned down neighborhood' is another person's 'Mostly Peaceful Protest.' All you little nobodies, stop yer complaining!

He allowed the 'Feeding Our Future' Covid government program to be pillaged by his Somali supporters, so one person's 'fraud' is another person's 'program.' In Timmy's World, THIS is how government is done!

He took Minnesot's large surplus and wasted it, so one person's 'surplus' is another person's 'blank check.'

No wonder why ultra-communist Kamala Harris chose him as her running mate.