And Now, A Public Service Announcement

Representative Lauren Boebert (R-CO): When Democrats say something is 'a threat to democracy', they really mean a threat to The Democrat Party.

Should Newly-Elected NY Congressman George Santos Resign?

Newly-elected Congressman George Santos (R-NY) has been caught in several lies regarding his resume and personal life, and his party wants him out of Congress

Here to give his side of this story is New York Congressman: George Santos:

Hi, my name is George Santos, and I 'stretched' the truth a few times during my successful campaign for Congress. I study how Democrats get elected, and I was under the impression that lying  wasn't only O.K., but in fact that it's expected.

In fact, I'm expecting Time Magzine to do a feature story on why my lying is good.....but I guess it's only good if you're Bill Clinton.

Team Obama lied their asses off during The 2012 Presidential Election, repeatedly slandering squeaky-clean Republican candidate Mitt Romney. After the election, a reporter asked Senate Leader Dirty Harry Reid about it, and all he had to say was 'Well, We won, didn't we?!'

I honestly don't see what is wrong with lying if you win the election. HONESTLY! Yeah! That's the ticket!

Now, a lot of politicians want me to resign. I am announcing my resignation from Congress.......if well-known liar Elizabeth Fauxcahontas Warren resigns. (Hi, I'm Elizabeth Warren, and I understand you are hiring a Native-American......)

By the way, I saw action in Vietnam with Denang Dick Blumenthal. In fact, I was his commanding officer! OH YEAH, THAT'S THE TICKET!

I'll resign when everyone who spread the falsehood of Russian Collusion resign THEIR jobs. Yeah, That's the ticket! Wow, that's almost every left-wing 'journalist' in America!

Bye-bye, Leslie Stahl. Call us when you find a job! We're CNN....The Most-Trusted Name In Fake News!

Yeah, that's the ticket!

If my lies really bother my constituents so much, they can throw me out of office in 2024. Until then, I CAN ONLY promise to tell the truth..... just like Joe Biden always does! Yeah, THAT'S THE TICKET!

I marvelled how Barack Obama used to always say 'Just let me be clear' because it sounded better than saying ,'Don't interrupt me while I lie my ass off!' 

Oh, by the way.............AT THIS POINT, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE????!!!!

The Top Ten Things Joe Biden Plans To Do In 2023

The president is ruining America, and his supporters seem to not care. He persecutes his opponents, rewards America's enemies, as he and his crime family get filthy rich off of money laundering and open bribery. 

From our home office in Bovey, Minnesota, is our new Top Ten list. 

The Top Ten Things Biden plans to do in 2023:

10. Sell his corvette with boxes of top secret, classified documents to The Chinese Communist Government

  9. Feed the J6 prisoners to the lions

  8. REPARATIONS!!!!!!COME GET YOUR REPARATIONS!!!!!

  7. Confiscate guns of law-abiding American citizens, while giving out Bazookas for illegals...

  6. If Biden can't pack The Supreme Court.....Abolish The Supreme Court!!!! 

  5. Make The Ukraine our 51st state

  4. Introduce a brand-new GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE TAX

  3. A FEDERAL BALL GAG MANDATE for Americans who complain about the upcoming federal Covid mask mandate

  2. Declare war against red states. Send tanks into Florida and Texas......

  1. MAKE HUNTER BIDEN THE NATIONAL MONEY LAUNDERING CZAR

An RSR Exclusive: We Spoke To An Exorcist Regarding Nancy Pelosi and The Democrats

Last week, former Speaker Nancy Pelosi summoned an exorcist to remove evil spirits from her San Francisco townhouse that she shares with her homosexual husband Paul. We at RSR have been reporting about the unclean spirits living inside her head since 2013. 

In this exclusive report, we speak to renouned exorcist, Father Damian Karras. He shed light on the dark world of demonic activity inside The Democrat Party, and asked him how does one spot demonic activity in our politicians. 

It is widely known that the former Speaker is indeed possessed by an Unclean Spirit, and is in need of an exorcism. She is also a Democrat, and Democrats LOVE to project. She blames the demonic activity in her life on her domicile when she should be removing the demon(s) inside HER. 

We asked him about the leading figures in the Democrat party. The father told us:

Representative Adam Schiff probably isn't 'possessed', but rather 'HAUNTED'. The California Congressman's eyes bulge like someone who is seeing a ghost. Rather than calling an exorcist, someone should call The Ghostbusters.

Many members of Congress are pedophiles, and aren't possessed in the strict sense of the word. They are just horrible, evil people who follow Satan. 

The Democrats in The Minnesota State Legislature have voted for the most extreme pro-abortion legislation in the country, so they're not possessed, but rather, they worship their demonic God, Moloch.

We asked Father Karras about Joe Biden. He told us that the president probably isn't possessed by a demon, unless he's possessed by a really, really DUMB, CORRUPT, SENILE demon.

We wondered about members of AntiFa, and green-haired employees of government schools who talk about sex to their 8-year-old students. He suggested that members of AntiFa aren't 'possessed, but just maladjusted, violent douches. As for your local green-haired teachers, parents really need to watch out for them.

Then, we asked about Sam Brinton, Biden's dress-wearing, luggage-stealing transgender weirdo. Our resident exorcist surmised that Brinton may have an actual demon living inside him/her/it.

As for leftists on Twitter. We showed him tweets and he cried out 'GOOD LORD!!!!' and clutched his chest. It was obvious there is widespread demonic possession on Twitter.

Father Karras suggested that F.B.I. Headquarters needs a thorough exorcism. In fact, he startled us when he said that the demonic possession of Washington D.C. IS NEARLY COMPLETE. It looks like a Pro-Trump Republicans are persecuted like Christians were in Ancient Rome.

Thanks to Father Damian Karras. for this timely information. For The RedSquirrel Report, this is your bushy-tailed correspondent.

Good night.

Our Art Critic Responds To The New MLK Sculpture Unveiled In Boston

Our Arts Critic Gerrold Snotley responds to the new Martin Luther King scupture that was just unveiled in Boston:

'The Embrace' was supposed to depict an embrace between The Reverend Martin Luther King and his wife Coretta, but this rediculous piece is being panned all over the Internet.

At one angle, it looks like someone is carrying the largest, undigested turd ever. I would entitle this piece 'UNFLUSHED NO.2.' At another angle, it looks like a huge penis with arms growing out from it.

This mightt happen when you give $10,000,000 to someone to 'create' a 'modern art' piece. Apparently members of The Boston City Council or someone in charge saw some mock-ups, and were afraid to call it what it was for fear that they would be seen as 'racially insensitive'.

Imagine what The City of Boston could have done with that $10,000,000. The city could have used the money to create an enterprise or opportunity zone. Instead, they bought a big, bronze dookie.

At the unveiling, I understand that a child pointed at it and said 'That's a penis!' According to many reports, many Black residents have expressed their feelings of disgust. Many find the sculpture 'disrespectful.'

At several angles, this sculpture forms a shape of a heart, but at other angles, it's bound to provoke laughter, derision, or embarrassment.

I'm just glad they didn't 'erect' a statue of Christopher Columbus. The local chapter of BLM or some other racial grievance group or Cancel Cultists would probably be tearing it down.

It's quite strange that the 'artist' decided that this sculpture be 'headless.' There are no heads. We are supposed to just believe that this piece depicts The Reverend and his wife. 

I showed a video of the unveiling to a friend (She happens to be a Black artist). She just shook her head and said, OH, HELL NO.....'

I remember the hubub over the subversive art of Robert Maplethorpe and Karen Finley. Their art was DISGUSTING yet THOUGHT PROVOKING. This piece is just CONFUSING.

At least the bronze arms and hands were nicely rendered. 

SONG PARODY ALERT!!! Rep. Lauren Boebert Sings Re-Make of MacKenzie Carpenter's 'Huntin' Season' ('Hot Damn, The G.O.P. House Is In Session)!'

MacKenzie Carpenter is a newcomer on the Country music scene, and she has a fun tune climbing the charts, 'Huntin' Season'.

Last week, the new session of Congress began. The Republicans are in the majority in The House of Representatives, and it looks like the new leadership will actually keep their promises to The American People.

Here to sing her report 'Hot Damn, The G.O.P. House Is In Session' is rising star, Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert:

(Intro)

We got the majority, and CNN is freaking

Kevin McCarthy is our new Speaker

We're gonna teach those commie-libs a lesson

Hey look, The Republican House is in session

(Verse 1)

Clean this mess,  defund the I.R.S.

Tell the tax and spenders to give it a rest

Nancy spent your tax dollars like a drunken sailor

Watch out, commies, here comes Marjorie Taylor (Green)

The Freedom Caucus got some nice concessions 

Hor Damn, The G.O.P.-ran House is in session!

Baby, we know it, We better not blow it

The voters sent us here to get the job done

We won't let The Dems take away your guns

We've had enough of all this corruption

Get ready for a Grand 'Ole Freedom Eruption

Hot damn, The G.O.P. House is in session!

The establishment is rotten and the country is broke

Their January 6 committee is a joke

We'll investigate The criminal Biden regime

We'll make The Squad squeal and scream

Yes, We know it, We dare not blow it

Abolish The F.B.I. and defund The Injustice Department, too

Make Hunter Biden testify until his face turns blue

Fight for The Constitution and our freedom

We'll make the money launderers answer our questions

HOT DAMN, The G.O.P.-ran House is in session!

That's right

Uh-huh.......

CNN is stunned, We've just begun

Stick a fork in Nancy because she's done

We don't give a rip about your woke feelings

We'll investigate all her dirty dealings

Our Freedom Caucus will smash your EARMARK addiction

HOT DAMN, THE G.O.P. HOUSE IS IN SESSION!

HOT DAMN, THE G.O.P. HOUSE IS IN SESSION, OH YEAH!

Point/Counterpoint: Is The New G.O.P. House Majority Embarrassing The Country?

In this week's Point/ Counterpoint, our resident leftist, Longfellow Loon and our station manager, Dan Ackroyd ,will debate the following question: 'Was The First Week Of Republican Control Of The House Of Representatives A Giant Embarrassment For The Country?' 

Longfellow Loon will argue in the affirmative and Mr. Ackroyd will argue in the negative. Mr. Loon, you may begin your argument:

Longfellow Loon: The 118th Congress will forever be known for the gigantic embarrassment to this fine country, and the Republican House majority has brought our poor country to it's knees.. Your own G.O.P. Rep Dan Crenshaw calls the 20 HOLDOUTS 'terrorists'

LOOOOLOOOOLOOLOOOOLOOOLOOOLOOOOLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 

Even that right-wing NAZI gasbag Sean Hannity has had it with the likes of right-wingers Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert! You Trumpians can't be trusted to run anything! Seeing your majority in such rediculous disarray just proves that Nancy Pelosi was the greatest House Speaker in history!

LOOOOLOOOOLOOOOLOOOOOLOOOOLOOOLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

As MacCarthy and The Troublesome 20 have their pissing match, the American People want congressional action on Abortion Rights and Climate Change!

LOOOLOOOLOOOOLOOOOLOOOOLOOOOLOOOLOOOOLOOOO!!!!!!

Mr. Ackroyd, the floor is yours........

Dan: Loony, you ignorant slut!

Of course you're gonna say you're 'embarrassed' by this Republican infighting. You would rather have a corrupt, insider-trader Speaker and a caucus of money-laundering, rapacious  corruptocrats all in quick agreement over who shall steal the most from the American treasury!

We (Well, some of us) Republicans fight over IDEAS, and our Freedom Caucus are just as angry over the easy corruption and 'bipartisanship' that has both parties screwing over honest, hard-working Normal Americans!!!!

Of course, small 'd' democracy is going to be messy! While your side fights over who is going to get the biggest porkbarrel earmarks, our side fights for freedom AND GIVING THIS GOVERNMENT BACK TO THE PEOPLE!!!

Kevin MaCarthy eventually got his speakership, and our Freedom Caucus got good concessions, and America will be better because of this fight. Stick a sock in your beak!

The RedSquirrel Report thanks Longfellow Loon and Mr. Ackroyd for a spirited back-and-forth. Good evening, America!

Rick And Morty Save The 2020 Presidential Election

Sometimes your bushy-tailed correspondent catches an occasional episode of Rick And Morty on Adult Swim/ Cartoon Network. The late-night show is Back To The Future with a slightly demented twist. Super genius Rick is like Doc with an attitude, and Morty is a little like Marty McFly. 

Super genius Rick builds a supercomputer time-space machine that changes the timeline of almost countless alternative realities. I think that Rick And Morty should have an entire season dedicated to correcting the results of  the 2020 Presidential Election.

Everything is going wrong in Biden's America. Rick tweaks his supercomputer time-space machine, hoping that he can stop Team Joe Biden from stealing The 2020 Preidential Election. To do this, they must stop The Covid Plandemic.  The duo sets the computer to January 2, 2020, and step inside. Rick and Morty find themselves at The White House, where they have a meeting with President Trump, and persuade him to not waste his time on Operation Warped Speed. 

Instead, Rick and Morty tell the president that Dr. Anthony Fauzi is an untrustworthy,  lying, genocidal quack who should be prosecuted for his gain of function activities. Instead of relying on big-pharma 'vaccines' and masks, The American People should eat Hydroxichloraquine. Rick whips up a giant vat of Easter candy. America loves the new confection, and Covid quickly dissappears.

The boys time-travel to May 24, 2020, where Officer Derek Chauvin is shopping for groceries. He is about to put a pork chop in his cart. Rick and Morty are following him, and they set their computer back twenty seconds before Chauvin puts the pork chop in the cart. Rick has a replacement pork chop laced with 'worms' and places it on the shelf. Chauvin puts the laced chop in his cart..............

That night, Chauvin eats his pork chop. The next day, he has the worms, and he's dragging his ass across the floor. He calls in sick. Later that day, Rick and Morty tip off the police and save George Floyd's life by telling them that Floyd is in possession of a fatal amount of fentanyl. The career criminal is about to pass fake bills at the corner store. Floyd is arrested, but survuves.

As a result, there are no riots in America. Cancel Culture remains a fever dream for weird, maladjusted leftists. Violent crimes and carjackings are rare, and when it happens, the perp is convicted and punished.

Rick and Morty meet with Republican state leaders and tell them they must stop early voting and voting by mail. On Election night, the boys fix the water pipes in Georgia, and send ninjas to subdue and gag Barack Obama in his office so Obama cannot order the early morning interruption of the vote-count in key states Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, Georgia, and Arizona.

Rick hacks and overrides The Dominion vote machines. He re-programs them to count every legal vote cast once.

On the morning after the fair and free Election Day, The American People see that Donald Trump has won in a massive landslide. The cheaters has been caught, and America builds new prisons for the cheaters. The Republicans have a huge majority in The House and a super-majority in The Senate.

Rick And Morty make copies of Hunter's laptop, and The Biden crime family are seated at a defendent's table, convicted of an incredible array of corruption and morals charges, The presiding judge uses a calculator to determine their sentences.

With Trump's Second term beginning, things are as they should be. Gas is under $2.00, inflation is down, and the American People are happily heading off to work. President Trump gives Rick and Morty the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

The season ends when Democrats discover Rick's supercomputer time-space machine.............................

Red Forman: With Republicans Like These, Who Needs Democrats?

Here with a commentary is our Everydad, Red Forman:

Thanks Red Squirrel. I like your name.

I am an average American Dad who likes a Congress that works FOR The American People. I like it when they cut my taxes, but understand it if they sometimes raise my taxes if it improves the lives for other Americans.

Right now, I don't even recognize my country anymore. We have a corrupt, senile jack-ass in The White House who is literally punishing hard-working, honest, everyday American People. He has led a foreign invasion on our Southern border, and has imprisoned hundreds of patriotic Americans in his gulag just for protesting the stolen election.

These Democrat dick-weeds aren't even 'America-Last' . They are literally abusing The American People.

It would be a help if there was a party that opposed this crap, but 18 dumb-ass Republican Senators are more than happy to help the crooked Democrats pick the country's pocket clean. The Senate has voted for the monstrosity $1,7 billion Omnibus Bill. They are sending billions to The Ukraine and spending millions to defend the borders on the other side of the world, but none for our OWN southern border.

With Republicans like these, who needs Democrats?

Turtleface Mitch McConnell helped push the godawful Omnibus. He refused to help really good Republican candidates win in the midterms. I think he deserves a swift kick in the ass. 

18 Republican Senators voted for this thoroughly DISQUSTING piece of legislation. They are spending millions naming a walk path for Michelle Obama. They spend billions more for that Ukranian Kelso Yalenskyy, but not a damned red cent to protect this country from the human traffickers, drug dealers, and assholes hurting THIS COUNTRY.

There are millions for Black Museums, Queer giveaways, and earmarks for every crook in Washington.

18 jerk-off Republicans in The Senate voted for this. I say we stick our collective foot up their ass and change the G.O.P. leadership. Thanks.

Red Forman, All-American Dad

This Is RedSquirrel's New Year's Resolution For 2023

It's 2023, and your bushy-tailed correspondent resolves to ridicule, lambaste, annoy, and rip The Left's stupid, evil agenda whenever and however I can.

Let us strive in destroying The Biden Regime, until we hear the lamentation of the so-called mainstream news media, crybaby Adam Katzinger Rhinos, corrupt Adam Schiff-heads, and Liz Chaney traitors.

Let us remember that The Tree of Liberty must be re-nourished with the tears of unhinged, psychotic communist weirdos and corrupt, authoritarian, control freak progressives.

Let us smash the woke agenda, and laugh at their silly speech codes, preferred pronouns, and stupid attempts to cancel the things Normal-Americans love.

Let our great leader Trump lead this great country through the valley once again, and learn to fight fire with fire in 2024. Hopefully, we can learn to bend election rules as the dirty Democrats do, until those demonic, cheating, corrupt Democrats learn to hate the vote harvest.

Let us stomp on the guts of drag queen story hour, and replace it with KIrk Cameron story hour.

Let us be free to show our entire faces again, and throw the Biden face shackles off. and defeat the murderous Covid 'vaccination' overreach.

Let us march on with stiffened spines, and storm the castles of Great Reset communist World Economic Fund criminal warlord Klaus Schwab and that evil bat-shit Democrat sugar daddy Emperor Soros.

During 2023, I resolve to eat BEEF. Not bugs. I resolve to burn fossil fuels like a free man. Let us stomp loudly, and make our carbon footprint be visible from outer space!

I resolve to NEVER trust the government for a second. Beware the government, for they rob from the taxpayer and do the evil bidding of special interest globalist corruptocrats with OUR money.

Let us laugh at the fools who blame everything on Climate Change!

Let us reject The Great Reset. Let us endeavor to not comply with leftist lunatics and inbred satanist busybodies.

Finally, let's increase our House majority in 2024, take back The Senate, and put an end to the Biden-Obama Regime. Let's Make America Great Again. Again.

My friends, this is my New Year's Resolutiion. God Bless.