Ted Koppel: After 1,009 Days, Joe Deal's Hostage Twitter Account Has Been Freed

On July 22, 2019, conservative blogger Joe Deal's Twitter account was suspended and locked. Like many other conservatives, he ran afoul of Twitter's strange, capricious standards of conduct. 

In the weeks that followed, I documented his plight in a series of reports, 'RedSquirrel's Twitter Hostage Account Crisis'. We were sure that his account would never again see the light of day, and Mr. Deal was sure that the suspension was, in fact, a lifetime ban. Since nobody believed that he would ever be reinstated, we discontinued our series.

Then, an incredible thing happened last week. Billionaire Elon Musk BOUGHT Twitter, and hundreds of conservative hostage accounts have returned. After 1,009 days, Joe Deal's Twitter account was reinstated.

In July 2019, Joe Deal followed over 7.000 accounts, and he had about 7,000 followers. Now, He has to start over with zero followers. On Tuesday, he learned that he is following just over 5,000 accounts (many he doesn't remember ever following), which he has whittled down to a manageable 160. 

At one time, Joe Deal was followed by Twitter mavens Kurt Schlichter and Michlle Malkin, as well as comedian Dana Carvey. Now, he doesn't even know if anyone SEES his posts. 

Joe Deal likens it to waking up from a coma. He says it feels like being Rip Van Winkle. Still, it feels like he woke up at a good time.

A lot has changed in 33 months. Covid, a Democrat crime wave, and a stolen presidential election later, Twitter also looks different. Now, the billionaire wants to return free speech to the social media bohemouth. After 1,009 days, Joe Deal is happy to be back. Good luck to him.

I am Ted Koppel. Goodnight.

Pajama Boy: Elon Musk Bought Twitter. I Am Shaking In My Onesy!!!!

On Monday, billionaire Elon Musk bought Twitter for $44 billion, and many leftists are panicking in abject terror.  On the other hand, former Twitter CEO  Jack Dorsey has expressed approval of Musk's purchase of the Social Media site.

Here to share his feelings is RSR contributor, a very shaken Pajama Boy:

I am in my fortified pillow fort, shaking in my onesie. I understand that several conservatives have already returned to Twitter, following the shocking purchase of the social media platform. Many Twitter employees have left in protest.

The View's Sunny Holsten says that Elon Musk will allow Twitter will become  a site where 'straight, White men can express their racist, sexist views!' and spread disinformation! The world is ending indeed!

Many of us fear that Musk will remove the guard rails of speech, allowing Nazis like Donald Trump and Tucker Calson to say whatever they want! I hope that this doesn't anger our Muslim and Communist masters!!!! Oh dear, my throat is PARCHED! Mom, can you make me some more hot cocoa?!!!

I am shaking in terror, and have to hold my cup of hot cocoa with BOTH HANDS! What are we going to do now that we can't censor people we dissagree with???!! 

Oh NO! former presidential candidate Howard Dean has left Twitter!!!!  He's a temperate and calm voice we need to hear. HEEEEEEAAAAWWWWW!!!!!

Mom, I want some more hot cocoa........

Nicolae Carpathia's Easter Address

Today is Easter, a holiday celebrated by Christians and non-Christians. Many don bonnets and attend church services, and the children hunt for Easter eggs. Many celebrate their savior Jesus Christ, who was raised from the dead. 

To others, it's more of a fertility festival, with bunnies and painted chicken ova. Americans spend millions on dye kits and Easter candy. Here to give his two cents on Easter 2022 is the future ruler of Planet Earth, Nicolae Carpathia:

Dear inhabitants of America and Planet Earth,

Our plans are right on schedule. Vladimir Putin is murdering Ukrainian civilians (World War 3 is coming soon!), Christian insurrectionists in America are being rounded up and sent to Biden's prisons, and somebody at The New York Times recently wrote a piece suggesting that we should 'get rid of God!'

The Pedophile and Sodomite Lobby is protesting that fascist Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and his 'Don't Say Gay' law, but the good news is my guy in The White House is bringing America to her knees!

The Boss is pleased, but he knows that time is short. Americans are waking up and Election Day 2022 is coming. My ultra-corrupt Communist-Democrats are running out of time. Republican legislatures are cleaning up their election systems, so it may be very hard to cheat. 

Our Queen of Disinformation Jen Psaki is leaving The White House, and our 'News' Channel CNN is hemorrhaging viewership. We need to train up more disinformation foot soldiers to gaslight The American People!

Our people at Twitter are doing a bang-up job, censoring views that run contrary with the Satanic party line. We have our army of ultra-violent Negroids committing heinus hate crimes all over the country, while our news stations only cover police shootings! All the saints are sinners and all the sinners saints! 

All Hail Satan! 

It looks like 6uild 6ack 6etter is dead for now, and America will not give up their guns. Still, we believe that The Great Reset is RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. My lieutenants Schwab and Gates tell me that we will have a worldwide famine by next year!

People with growling bellies are so much easier to control!

The citizens are discovering our Worldwide Covid Plademic was a ruse to send ballots to dead people and commit election fraud. It also helped our cause that Democrat Governors would literally arrest people for attending illegal church services. We'll need to come up with an even more engenius, devious plan if we want to keep Donald Trump out of The White House in 2024! 

But this is Easter. I prefer the term 'Ishtar'. We must keep everyone's mind off of that troublemaker, Jesus Christ, and make government their god!

Happy Fertility Day! 

N.C., Future Ruler of Planet Earth 

Correspondent Sister Mary Brokenknuckle's Oscar Awards Report

It appears that our Oscar Awards correspondent, Sister Mary Brokenknuckles is filing her report from The L.A. County Lock-up. She was so angry with Best-Actor Will Smith'S assault on host Chris Rock that she waited for him outside The Dolby Theatre, where she smacked him in the head and knuckles with a ruler.

Here's her report:

God Bless.......

I am here in The Los Angeles County Lock-up, following a wild Academy Awards show. As everyone knows, that smart alec host Chris Rock made a joke of Will Smith's wife Jada Pinkett-Smith and her bald head. The actor stormed on stage, and bitch-slapped the shocked host.

So, let me get this straight. The BLACK host is assaulted by a BLACK acttor, and the BLACK actor is not arrested for assault. Then,  The Black actor WINS the BEST-ACTOR Award. This must be that White privilege I keep hearing abou!

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles D.A. wants to charge me with a hate crime. We all need to pray for his soul.

Co-hosting harlots Amy Schumer and Wanda Sykes bad-mouthed the wonderful Governor or Florida, Ron DeSantis, and his signing of that anti-grooming bill. The Satanic pedophiles refer to the law as the 'Don't Say Gay' law, but the law only stops the government schools from talking about adult sexual practices to 5-9 years olds. 

Some 'teachers' are threatening to walk off their jobs. I didn't know that the government schools were such bastions of perverted lunacy. The fact that these loud weirdos have identified themselves proves that this new law was badly needed.

Mother Mary, full of grace, these Sodomite weirdos deserve a great, big ruler across their knuckles.

Speaking of Sodomite weirdos, dozens of employees at Disney are also very angry about this new anti-grooming law. One of the the heads of Disney disclosed that her child is a 'pansexual.' The child wouldn't even know what a pansexual is unless her insane, perverted parent told her what one was.

The great Walt Disney must be rolling in his grave.

Well, that's my Oscar  report. Actor Will Smith assaults the host, and enjoys his big win. I smack a Black actor with a ruler, and all I get is my 'one phone call.' God Bless.

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THIS JUST IN: TRUMP ARRESTED

 

Just kidding. Happy April Fool's Day