And Now, A Message From Canadian President Justin Trudeau

First of all, I want to thank the millions of wonderful Canadians who sent me 'Get Well' cards and flowers, and I am happy to announce that the 3 vaccine shots administered to me helped me recover from Covid faster. 

Thousands of truck drivers have rolled into the Canadian capitol of Ottawa like a foreign army. These terrorists are honking their horns, and terrorizing the people of Canada. I am declaring war on these terrorists. 

So, I have declared a national emergency.

I was happy to see gofundme 'redirect' money contributions away from these criminals, and I understand that this money will be sent to charities that meet my approval. I think that BLM founder Patrice Colours deserves ANOTHER million-dollar mansion!

I have a message to the supporters of these criminal truck drivers. My regime have people on the ground and you don't want to be caught giving these terrorists any aid or support! Some of my neighborhood snitches have discovered that you are baking pies and cookies for them. You may be arrested!

These insurrectionts are on the radical fringe margin of Canadian society!. Only 73% of Canadians polled approve of these truck driver protests! I am toying with the idea of declaring that all truck drivers are government employees, and they must be fully vaccinated if they want to keep their government jobs!

I was happy to see some Harvard professors on Twitter say that their tires should be slashed and be deprived of their fuel. I have sent an armada of tow trucks to tow these trucks away. However, I spit out my soymilk when one of my snitches informed me that they had joined the protest. Curses!

Canadians are a quiet, docile people. Nearly all it's citizens do what they're told.  These truck drivers are endangering this calm by protesting mandatory Covid vaccinations, and worst of all, they're making lots of noise! STOP STOP STOP IT!!!!!

I  am thinking about bringing in the military! If my army refuse to end these protests, I may invite the Chinese army. I've heard that they know how to quell a protest!

Canadian President, Justin Trudeau