New Events At The 2022 Beijing Olympics

Communist China is hosting The Winter Olympics, and hardly anyone is watching. Even the venues are empty. Still, there are some exciting, new events: 

The Chinese Biathlon, a competition where the athletes drive a Chinese tank to the shooting range area, then test their shooting skills by shooting an anti-government dissident in the back of the head, making him or her fall into a ditch. 

The ChiCom Propaganda Suck-up Challenge: This competition is for visiting media personalities.  The American media are heavily favored to win the Gold Medal.

The 'Build-A-Nike Basketball Shoe Really Fast Or Be Sent To A Chinese Re-Education Camp' Competition

'Christian AND Uyghur Persecution Hockey', where competitors try to send born-again Christians and Uyghur Muslims into 'the penalty box.'

'Speed-Skating The Truth', the competition where murderous, demonic communists berate and humiliate beta-male western dilpomats before the tongue-tied wusses can get a word out.

'ALMOST Cross-Country Skiing', where the winner is shot dead for straying too close to the Chinese border......

Very exciting.

And Now, A Message From Canadian President Justin Trudeau

First of all, I want to thank the millions of wonderful Canadians who sent me 'Get Well' cards and flowers, and I am happy to announce that the 3 vaccine shots administered to me helped me recover from Covid faster. 

Thousands of truck drivers have rolled into the Canadian capitol of Ottawa like a foreign army. These terrorists are honking their horns, and terrorizing the people of Canada. I am declaring war on these terrorists. 

So, I have declared a national emergency.

I was happy to see gofundme 'redirect' money contributions away from these criminals, and I understand that this money will be sent to charities that meet my approval. I think that BLM founder Patrice Colours deserves ANOTHER million-dollar mansion!

I have a message to the supporters of these criminal truck drivers. My regime have people on the ground and you don't want to be caught giving these terrorists any aid or support! Some of my neighborhood snitches have discovered that you are baking pies and cookies for them. You may be arrested!

These insurrectionts are on the radical fringe margin of Canadian society!. Only 73% of Canadians polled approve of these truck driver protests! I am toying with the idea of declaring that all truck drivers are government employees, and they must be fully vaccinated if they want to keep their government jobs!

I was happy to see some Harvard professors on Twitter say that their tires should be slashed and be deprived of their fuel. I have sent an armada of tow trucks to tow these trucks away. However, I spit out my soymilk when one of my snitches informed me that they had joined the protest. Curses!

Canadians are a quiet, docile people. Nearly all it's citizens do what they're told.  These truck drivers are endangering this calm by protesting mandatory Covid vaccinations, and worst of all, they're making lots of noise! STOP STOP STOP IT!!!!!

I  am thinking about bringing in the military! If my army refuse to end these protests, I may invite the Chinese army. I've heard that they know how to quell a protest!

Canadian President, Justin Trudeau

STACEY ABRAMS: MASKS FOR THEE BUT NOT FOR ME

 

Pajama Boy: Justin Trudeau Is Doing Fine

Tens of thousands of Canadien truckers have rolled into Ottawa to protest mandatory vaccinations, and it appears that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has fled the capitol.  

RSR has learned that the effeminate dictator has Covid 19, and is staying with a friend in America. 

Here to tell us is Trudeau's friend:

We are hiding out in my pillow fort, drinking hot cocoa with both hands on our mugs. Don't worry, everyone, Justin is o.k. We are masked.

He told me about those hateful truck drivers who disobeyed his order. The domestic terrorists rolled into the capitol, but Justin was able to slip away, undetected. He showed up at our back door in blackface. 

I gave him my old onesie, and we're enjoying hot cocoa right now. He is trying to get in touch with the Canadian Army, so they can clear the streets of the disobedient extremists who have taken over the country.

It's just terrible that so many Canadians are refusing the vaccination. Many of them refuse to wear a mask! With all of these maniacs running around, I wonder will this pandemic ever end!

Don't they know that the government is always right?

Well, that's all for now. I just wanted to tell all of Justin's supporters that he's fine, and hopes to be back very soon.

Pajama Boy.