Pajama Boy: The New Biden Vaccine Mandate Is A Great Idea!

I am here in my Mom's basement, wearing my mask. I've put masks on my plushy toys, so I'm FEELING safe and secure. I had to report my Mom to the government because she served my hot cocoa without her mask on. I wiped down my pillow fort.

I am so glad that our wonderful President Joe Biden issued his new Covid vaccination mandate for big companies of 100 employees or more. It's a great idea. I don't know why some people refuse to accept the vaccine. Do they even care if millions of Americans die from this horrible, deadly killer?

If you don't care for others, you SHOULD lose your job!

I hope that the president shuts down the entire country like Australia did. I wrote a letter to President Biden, asking him to send me a vaccine passport. I almost hyperventilated with excitement as I put my letter into the dropbox in front of our house.

I hate it when right-wing celebs like Nicki Minage and Eric Clapton complain about the vaccine. They make it impossible to flatten the curve. Then there is that right-wing whack-job Joe Rogan who says that horse vitamins (IVERMECTIN) cured his Covid. He is SO IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!

We Americans should do whatever our wonderful Dr. Fauci tells us. He told us we didn't need masks, then said we needed masks, then he said we might need TWO masks. At some point he's gotta be right!

I'm so glad that Orange Man Bad has been thrown out of The White House! Remember when he said that rat poison cured Covid? What a maniac!

Today, my Mom and I went to Walmart, and I had to remind many shoppers to put on their masks. I don't mind it when people call me 'Karen.' It's a pretty name.

Tomorrow I turn 27. Mom tells me that I am a man now, so I should look for a job. It's my beddy-by time, so I'll end it here. Goodnight, America.

Remember to MASK -UP!

RSR Exclusive: Top Ten Rejected AOC Dress Slogans

A couple weeks ago, Socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made quite a thud at the latest Met Gala, wearing a white dress emblazoned with the words 'Tax The Rich' in huge, red letters.

Some said the dress looked like a Chik-fel-A take-out bag.

We here at RSR have learned that 'Tax The Rich' wsn't the only Socialist catch phrase she was thinking about putting on the white dress. Our insider discovered at least ten other catch phrases and typical, goofy AOC statements up for consideration. Here are the top 10:

10. I Don't Need Fossil Fuels: I Ride The Short Bus To Work

  9. Abolish I.C.E. (And Make The Roads Less Icy This Winter)

  8. Rules For Thee But Not For Me.......Mask Up, Peasants!

  7. Let's Impeach Trump Again......THREE TIME'S THE CHARM!

  6. There Are Three Things I Hate (........................Math).

  5. If Money Doesn't Grow On Trees, Why Do Banks Have Branches?

  4. I Hope I Never Have Twins (I Can't Afford To Be Pregnant Fot 18 Months)

  3. Green New Deal.....The Government Takes Your Green, And You'll Have To Deal With It.

  2. Give Visas To Illegals (While We're At It, Give Them Mastercard, Too)

  1. Make The Electoral College Free For All Americans!

Green Day Sings Gavin Newsom Recall Election Campaign Song (We're The California Idiots)

Two weeks ago, Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom survived a recall election. We here at RSR have discovered a campaign song, and here it is. Here to sing it is Bay Area band, Green Day. Hit it, boys:

We're the California recall election idiots

We're voting against the recall 

We support the terrible governor

Most of us are dependent on the government

We voted as if Trump was on the ballot

Just close the churches and open up the strip clubs

We're the land of the fruits and the nuts

We like the homeless camping next to the schools

crapping all over the sidewalks and in the swimming pools

We don't even mind all the violent crime 

We hate the Black guy because he's a White supremacist

We put on a monkey mask and threw eggs at him

A hundred-million was spent on leftist propaganda

We're the leftist idiots from California

We love all the transgenders

but we voted against Caitlin Jenner

brcause he's not nearly gay enough!

We want a Democrat in the governor's mansion

We'd even vote for Charley Manson

as long as he has a 'D' next to his name

Everyone vote for Gavin Newsom

Even though his record is rather gruesome

We are last in education

We lead the country in homelessness and sidewalk defecation

Come on all you California idiots!

We're all CNN-watching Tik-Tok vidiots

misinformed, uneducated fools

Come on all you idiot Californians

even all you illegal aliens

Vote even if you're dead, you lefty tools!

Questions For Mayoral And City Council Candidates In Minneapolis

1. If the city replaces the police, who will enforce the city's mask mandate?

2. If you're elected, should Minneapolis remain a 'sanctury city' or should it begin to obey federal law?

3. Do you plan on turning Minneapolis into an even bigger third-world dump than it already is?

4. If the city experiences more riots, should the City Council and / or the Mayor call in the National Guard or just allow the criminals to loot and burn down entire neighborhoods like they did last time?

5. How do you raise a landlord's property taxes, and at the same time, make housing more affordable?

6. Do you support Joe Biden's vaccine mandate?

7. Do you support re-opening The 3rd Precinct Police Station, or should criminals have the run of East Lake Street? Do you even care about violent crime in Minneapolis?

8. Do you plan on doing SOMETHING about all the disgusting graffiti all over the city?

9. What should be done with autonomous zones, and the criminals who run them?

10. Should Critical Race Theory be taught in Minneapolis schools?

Carnak The Magnificent: A Highway, A Chicken, And Anthony Fauci

A highway, a chicken, and Anthony Fauzi............(opens the envelope)............

Name something tarred, something feathered, and somebody who should be tarred and feathered.

Hank Hill: That Giblet Head Biden Should Get His Ass Kicked, I Tell You What!

In this segment, we let a normal, everyday American have the floor. Today, it's Hank Hill, a hard-working, honest family man from Arlen, Texas. 

Thank you, RedSquirrel.

My name is Hank Hill. I am an American. My wife's name is Peggy, and Bobby is my son. We would have more kids if I didn't have a blocked urethra.

I work for a living. At Strickland Propane,  we sell propane and propane accesories. My family do not and will not accept those Covid welfare checks. My wife is a homemaker and part-time, substitute teacher at Thomas Landry Middle School.

Me and my wife are concerned about the direction this country is going. The giblet-head in The White House appears to be hell-bent on turning our wonderful country into Venezuela. That corrupt, senile jack-ass cancelled The Keyston XL Energy pipeline, killing thousands of good jobs. 

I usually don't go for conspiracy theory hogwash, but my neighbor Dale Gribble says that Biden stole the 2020 Election. Strangely, I am starting to believe it. 

We see illegal aliens walking through our front lawn, and drug gangs on the streets of Arlen. They tried to force Critical Race Theory down our son's throat, but my wife Peggy spoke at our school board's last meeting. She straighted their asses out, I TELL YOU WHAT!

Peggy also had a few choice words about their retarded mask mandate. My buddy Boomhaur also spoke, but nobody knows what he said.

The local communist jack-asses tried to bring a very colorful drag queen to our local elementary school. That pervert just ain't right! The cancel culture threw great books like 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Horton Hears a Who', out and replaced them with 'Heather Has Two Mommies.'

Now, the fraud jerk in The White House is trying to pack the courts so that the law is whatever that senile jack-ass says it is. I want to kick his shriveled ass, I TELL YOU WHAT!!!

DAMMIT, where's my blood pressure pills?

Then, there's the commie weirdoes telling us to wear a Covid mask and don't visit our friends or go to church, but the BLM and ANTIFA riots are just fine with them. I try to teach my boy Bobby to not swear, but sometimes I watch the idiot news and my boy sees me drop some choice f-bombs at the news anchors.

I went to see a college football game last week, and the crowd chanted 'F.... JOE BIDEN!' Maybe some of these college kids are being taught some good stuff! Heh, heh, heh. That gives me some hope for the future of our great country.

Well, that's all for now. Next time I'll tell you what I think about what's going on in Afghanistan. God help us!

Hank Hill, American.

The RSR Poll (Question: What's Your View Of The Biden Administration?)

We are conducting a poll this week, and we would like to know what our readers are thinking. We've got the catastrophe at our Southern border, the catastrophe in Afghanistan, extreme weakness on the world stage, the horrific economy, the insane level of corruption and ineptitiude in the Biden regime, and the skyrocketing, violent crime in Democrat-run cities.

Our question this week is 'What is your view of The Biden Administration?' 

A) It's more like a clown car, or:

B) It's more like a dumpster fire