Our military expert has returned, and files this report:
SLOW-JOE BIDEN AND THE CONGA-LINE OF TWINKLE-TOED DEMOCRAT COMMUNIST ASSHOLES HAVE DECLARED WAR ON THE DECENT, HARDWORKING AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!
That CORRUPT, SENILE idiot Biden planned a never-ending invasion on our Southern border. Millions of gangs, drug dealers, and human traffickers threaten to turn the great state of Texas BLUE.
The great Governor of Florida Ron DeSantis is resisting the disasterous Democrat Covud agenda, so Slow-Joe tried to BLOCKADE that great state by stopping flights to the vacation hotspot.
Slow Joe is trying to choke the Red States, killing jobs and forcing America to be dependent on foreign countries that hate us! The Keystone XL Pipeline runs through Red States. Slow Joe is either really stupid or he just hates America. ....OR MAYBE both!!
The Democrats are kow-towing to no-growth, Eco-Commies with this utterly DEPRAVED, RETARDED Green Agenda. The recent Covid bill was just a bailout for mismanaged Blue states with corrupt, idiot Democrat Governors.
These Malthusian dumb-fucks hate freedom as much as they hate American human beings persuing their happiness. That ugly traitor John Kerry has a carbon footprint the size of Idaho, yet he tells the American people that we must do with less. FUCK HIM!!!!
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says, 'I ride the short bus to 'work', so I DON'T NEED FOSSIL FUELS!!'
Then, there's AntiFa and Black Lives Matter. These violent, booger-eating Marxist weirdos are ruining neighborhoods across America. I would love to invade their no-go zones and throw their utterly WORTHLESS asses in jail!
American children are being indoctrinated in Critical Race Theory, and Twitter is a cesspool, where the truth is censored and leftist freaks spread their hate and truly DISGUSTING, MINDLESS rhetoric.
Americans who love our country and our traditions HAVE TO GET IN THE FIGHT!
According to my spies on the ground, patriots who protested the stolen election are being falsley imprisoned and kept in solitary confinement. Joe's Justice Department has been turned into Joe's Gestapo!
But, don't worry, America! Slow Joe is making sure that if you're in the military, YOU CAN GET A TAXPAYER-FUNDED SEX-CHANGE OPERATION.! Our ChiCom enemies are planning WORLD DOMINATION, WHILE WE ARE PLANNING TO WHACK OUR PENIS OFF!!!
Our enemies are on the move and our allies are terrified. Good going, Joe.
We have to STOP THIS CRAP! As you were.
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