Tim Walz Shooting Blanks

The Harris/ Walz Presidential Campaign have discovered that bashing, demonizing, and discriminating against men has resulted in record-low poll numbers with male voters. The Campaign remains very popular with cross-dressers and violent illegal aliens.

To combat their 'man' problem, the Harris/ Walz Campaign did two things this weekend. They released a new Twitter ad 'Real Men Vote For Kamala', which is STILL being lambasted and lampooned all over social media. 

The campaign also sent 'normal, real-Dad' Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz to hunt for pheasant.

So there he was in his Elmer Fudd costume, fumbling with his gun for hours. We still don't know if he was ever able to load the gun, but we do know that he never shot the gun. Once again, ANOTHER Harris/ Walz photo op blew up in their face. Everyone is still making fun of the Harris/Walz Campaign.

We sent a guy to heckle Timmy. Maybe that's why the governor had so much trouble loading the gun:

 'HEY TAMPON!!!! WHAT'S UP, DOC!!!! ARE YA HAVING TROUBLE LOADING THAT GUN, YOU LYING VALOR-STEALING COMMIE JACKASS?????!!!!!

Taylor Swift: I Endorse Kamala Harris

The American People breathlessly awaited for pop princess Taylor Swift to bless us with her presidential endorsement, and she did right after the ABC triple-team/debate against Donald Trump.

She endorsed Vice-President/ Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris. Here to explain is pop princess and influencial poltertainer Taylor Swift:

I am announcing my endorsement for Kamala Harris as the next President of The United States. As a loud and proud feminist, I proudly support women's reproductive rights. Kamala has allowed over 13,000 rapists from third world countries, and with Kamala in The White House, we'll be needing LOTS OF ABORTION 'SERVICES!

I support Kamala Harris because Orange Man Bad Donald Trump tried to lead an insurrection against America on J6! That day was the darkest day in AMERICAN HISTORY! It was even worse than 9/11 or even the attack on Pearl Harbor. Only 3,000 Americans died during the attacks on The World Trade Center, while a whopping 5 D.C. Police died in the days and months following J6!!!

As you know, most of my songs are about my bad choices in men. So, I choose A WOMAN TO BE MY PRESIDENT! My boyfriend, Kansas City Chiefs Tight End Travis Kelce, also supports Kamala Harris because he knows who wears the pants in our relationship.

He knows if we broke up, We would never, ever get back together. 

I think everyone should vote for Kamala Harris because I am voting for her! I was Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year' last year. As you know, my newest album dropped in April,  and I HAD THE TOP 14 SONGS ON BILLBOARD'S HOT 100 POP SONG CHART! 

SUCK ON THAT, BEATLES!!!! 

John Lennon said that The Beatles were greater than Jesus Christ. I'M GREATER THAN THE BEATLES!!!! ALL HAIL TAYLOR!!!!!

For all you haters and right-wingers who don't like my presidential endorsement, I say 'YOU BETTER CALM DOWN!' I have friends in The DOJ and FBI!

Finally, I am annoucing that if Kamala isn't elected, I will leave the country, and you don't want THAT to happen, because the country will fall apart without ME!!!!!

LOVE, TAYLOR : )

Reporting From The 2024 Biden White House Halloween Party

Hello, this is Bill Birditzman, reporting from The White House Main Ballroom 2024. This will be the last Halloween party hosted by The Bidens. I understand the president has already retired for the night, but First Lady Jill is hosting tonight's festivities.

Oh look, Minnesota Governor and Democrat Vice-Presidential candidate Tim Walz is back from his pheasant hunt. That's quite an Elmer Fudd costume, and over there, Hunter Biden and his Ukrainian friends are bobbing for bribes.

Biden Administration cross-dressers Sam Brinton and Robert/Rachel Levine have arrived as the lumberjacks from Kamala's 'Man Enough' campaign ad. I didn't even recognize them!

Now, White House Press Spokesperson Karine Jean-Pierre has arrived as another famous gay, Black woman.

Michael Jackson.

OH NO! SOMEONE IS THROWING EGGS AT THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE!!!!! IT'S TRUMP ADVISORS STEVE BANNON AND PETER NAVARRO!!! CALL THE F.B.I.!!!!!!

Vice-President and Democrat presidential candidate Kamala Harris is manning the front door, handing out high-denomination currency to the illegal alien and Venezuelan gangster trick-or-treaters. Out on the front lawn we have some scary Halloween decorations. Oh, it's just Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters.

In the West Wing, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg is with some kids of The White House staff, and he's dressed up for Drag Queen Scary Story Time.....

Buttigieg: 'Alright, kids, gather around. Let me tell you the SCAAAARY story how The Mean Orange Monster Caused Climate Change!!!!!'

George Soros is here again this year, arriving as The Evil Emporer Palpatine from Star Wars.

Several Democrat members of The House of Representatives have arrived as Hamas terrorists. If they have pagers or cell phones, I hope they're turned off.....

Hopefully, this scary White House Halloween party will end around 1:00 a.m. on Election Night. Let's hope The Great Orange Trump will arise from the pumpkin patch and Make America Great Again, Again.

This is Bill Birditzman, reporting from The White House. Back to you, Carol and Paul.

FEMA Head Nicolae Carpathia Checks In

Two weeks ago, Hurricane Helene struck. We are hearing horrific stories of death, and homes being swept away. The death toll is at over 220, and there are still people missing.

Occasional correspondent Nicolae Carpathia, known to us as 'The Anti-Christ', has taken a second job as Head of FEMA. He gives us an update:

Hello, America! We are very busy denying help to victims of Hurricane Helene. I am sending black helicopters to desrupt and buzz neighbors trying to help neighbors. We also have our people THREATENING TO JAIL busybodies helping their neighbors. Silly, lousy DO-GOODERS!

FEMA has ran out of money, but we're STILL sending BILLION$$$$$ to illegal aliens, The Ukraine, and Lebanon, The American People need to stop their COMPLAINING, OR TEAM BIDEN WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!!!

We are offering $750 loans to families who lost their homes. When you sign a loan agreement with FEMA, keep in mind that if you don't pay off the loan we can seize everything you own! HAHAHAA!!!!

Remember, YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY!!! ALL HAIL SATAN!!!!

I keep hearing rumours that the federal government is controlling the weather one month before Election Day, and that we're attacking ONLY RED STATES!!! I categorically deny using weather-changing technology or cloud-seeding just to help one party win an election! That is too vulgar a display of ........never mind!

I must admit, it's quite nice that the residents of red states might have trouble finding an open polling station on Election Day!!!

I DO HOPE that The Harris / Walz Campaign can win the red states affected, and soon I will BRING ABOUT MY GLOBALIST NEW WORLD ORDER!!!!

ALL HAIL SATAN!!!!!

Tim Walz Booed At The Michigan-Minnesota Football Game

Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump recieved a loud, raucous welcome at The Alabama- Georgia college football game. As his image was shown on the stadium jumbotron, the crowd cheered wildly.

Meanwhile, Kamala Harris's running mate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz was roundly booed at the Michigan- Minnesota game, although he did take selfies with Wolverine fans behind him.

Walz gesticulated and waved wildly in the parking lot at Michigan Stadium, also refered to as 'The Big House., although no one was there waving back. Walz tailgaited in the parking lot with his nutty wife Gwen, filling his grill with high-cholesterol treats.

After eating 8 or 9 brats, Walz put on a Michigan Wolverine jacket over his Minnesota Gopher jacket. and passed around copies of Mao's Little Red Book.

Walz spent the next three hours taking selfies, and looking around for Harris supporters. With the Wolverines leading 24-3 late in the 3rd quarter, the fans surrounding Walz and wife Gwen began chanting 'TURN THE PAGE!!!!TURN THE PAGE!!!!'

The Gophers did put up 21 points in the fourth quarter, so Walz took off his Michigan blue and yellow jacket, and demanded an escort out of the stadium, 

There were Gopher fans a few rows down jeering, cursing, and yelling  'you killed my grandma!'  and 'You let the city burn!'.

After the final gun, Walz headed towards his bus when he passed a Purdue Boilermaker fan, who yelled 'HEY TAMPON TIMMY, YER A COMMIE JACKASS!!!'.

All in all, it was a good day for Walz. He was glad that the game wasn't in Minnesota.

The All-Important Undecideds

The expert pundits are saying that the presidential election will be a close one, and the 'undecideds' will decide who will win The White House.

Really? There are Americans out there who STILL do not quite know yet who they wil cast their ballot for? Unless you've been brainwashed by your communist college professor or you're waiting for the endorsement from your favorite Hollywood pedophile, I think this a slam dunk. 

(cue dumb voice):

Should I vote for Trump and peace in The Ukraine or Harris and get yourself drafted to fight in World War 3? Gee, THAT'S A REAL HEADSCRATCHER!

Do I vote for Trump and energy independence or Harris and America begs our enemies for oil? Gee, That's a headscratcher!

Should I vote for Trump and control the border or Kamala Harris and let the border be overrun with third-world rapists and murderers? 

THAT'S A REAL HEADSCRATCHER!!!

Should I vote for MAGA or AMERICA LAST????? WOW, WHAT A HEADSCRATCHER!!!

C'mon, America.....You can do this!

It's What Democrats Do....

Funnyman Groucho Marx said that politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. The great political thinker Thomas Sowell said that politics is the art of making your selfish desires sound like the national interest.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent has observed that Democrats ignore real problems, and invent fake problems which they 'solve' while demonizing their political opponents for not caring about the fake problems. Then, they rob the taxpayers blind while rewarding their corrupt, filthy-rich supporters with the stolen, misappropriated taxpayer money. They do it in the name of solving the fake problem(s).

Case in point: The Democrats and The scandal-ridden Feeding Our Future program / fraud. Minnesota Governor Tim Walz is known for saying 'We want to ban hunger while Republicans want to ban books.'

The truth is, the Democrats' and their allies in the local news media have banned the TRUTH. 80,000 Somalis have took overThe Twin Cities in a 'mostly' bloodless coup. Most of these Democrat supporters made off literally like pirates. defrauding the taxpayers of over $250 million, Walz accuses his Republican opponents of 'starving kids' as if we were living in 1985 Ethiopia. 

Absolutley offensive, false, and ridiculous. Walz rewarded his corrupt, third-world supporters with the taxpayer's hard-earned money.

Timmy lies, and the local Twin Cities media add to this obscene myth that The Marxist Woodtick is somehow 'America's cool Dad'. He dresses like Elmer Fudd and proudly eats State Fair food like a champ. Meanwhile, The Twin Cities media hype him incessantly while he ruins the state. He gets better press with the Twin Cities media than Joseph Stalin ever did with Soviet Union state-run media.

They yap about him 'being a teacher', while he ruins OUR schools. Minnesota has traditionally led the country in education, but Walz has ruined Minnesota schools. Now the state has fallen to 17th place in the country. But, at least, rich kids get to feed their face at Minnesota's government schools.

The media also spreads the falsehood that Republicans 'want to ban books', when they already know that The Republicans only want inappropriate reading materials like porn out of elementary schools.

One more thing. Did you notice in last week's ABC debate, the moderators fact-checked truth-teller Donald Trump non-stop, while they let serial liar Kamala Harris lie about her record?

Democrats lie incessantly. That's what Democrats do.