Burgermeister Walz Orders Facemasks In Public

On Saturday, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz announced his new executive order which mandates that all Minnesotans must wear a facemask when in indoor, public places. Resisters face a possible fine.

The timing is curious. It seems as if this new dictate was announced just after the Republican-controlled Minnesota Senate refused to pass a bonding bill supported by the governor. To many Minnesotans, this makes him look like a vindictive jerk.

Many Minnesotans have been waiting for the governor to start turning his Covid19 dial, but it appears that it's being turned in the wrong direction. Some in the conservative media are referring to Walz as 'Kim Jong Walz', but this bushy-tailed pundit sees Walz more as the bitter, toy-hating Burgermeister Meisterburger from the classic Rankin-Bass Christmas special 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.'

Maybe if Governor Walz delivered his executive orders with a funny song like 'It's A Difficult Responsibility' it would take the edge off. Hit it, Timmy:


I have a Helluva responsibility
and you better obey the Governor dictator ME!
I don't care if you complain or disagree
I'm ordering you, and compliance is key

They didn't pass my bonding bill
I will win this battle OF WILLS!!!
I order you to cover your face
or the governor will be on your case!
I'm saving lives and you better obey
If you don't then I will make you pay!
You will cover your face and nose
A big fine will bring you woe!

I have a Helluva responsibility
and you people better obey the Governor dictator ME
I don't care if you complain or disagree
Tim Walz has spoken, and compliance is key!

Your face will be concealed
My executive power, I wield
I don't want to hear you holler
Here's a fine,  a thousand dollars!
I 'm saving lives, you uncaring ants
Defy me? I say you can't!
If you think I'm just being mean
I'll say 'I'm saving you from Covid 19'

I have a helluva responsibility
and you better obey the Governor dictator ME!
I don't care if you complain or disagree..........

(spoken): ........I'm ordering EVERY resident of Minnesota to mask up, shut up, and cover up their faces even though there's no proof whatsoever that masks can stop the Covid19 virus, or you will face a fine of up to $1000!!!

.....and you had better obey the Governor dictator ME!!!!