Thursday, June 26, 2025

Florida: The State Of Hockey


Florida, the state of pastel-wearing vice cop Sonny Crockett and Cocaine Kingpin Tony Montana, can also boast of back-to-back Stanley Cup Championships, The Florida Panthers won their second-straight Stanley Cup last week, defeating The Edmonton Oilers 5-1, taking the championship series 4 games to 2.

IN COMPARISON, Minnesota is called 'The State Of Hockey', yet NO Minnesota team has EVER won The Stanley Cup. NEVER. The North Stars left Minnesota in 1993 and finally won The Cup in 1999 after they left and became The Dallas Stars.

In the last ten years, Teams from Miami (Florida Panthers), Tampa Bay, Las Vegas, and Carolina have won Stanley Cup Championships. Since 1993, No team from Canada has won the Stanley Cup. Detroit, also known as 'HOCKEYTOWN', hasn't won a championship since 2008. Maybe Miami should be called 'HOCKEYTOWN'. They're the ones winning the championships.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent (I reside in Minnesota) still follows The National Hockey League even though no professional team in Minnesota has even made it to the finals since 1991 when The North Stars lost to The Pittsburgh Penguins. 

The lone franchise in Minnesota, The Minnesota Wild, has NEVER made it to the finals. in it's 26-year history. My rule of thumb is that if there's a hockey game somewhere I root for the team based furthest North. 

Somewhere in my mind is the belief that hockey belongs to places where there is normally snow and ice on the ground outside. If your team normally experiences a GREEN Christmas without snow and ice on the ground, then hockey doesn't really belong in your city.

Northern tprofessional hockey eams remind me of real Christmas trees and Southern teams remind me of fake Christmas trees.

Maybe it's time for me to change my thinking. As a Conservative Republican  I can start rooting for Southern teams because Southern cities tend to be more conservative. Miami is one of the few major cities in America with a Republican Mayor (Francis Suarez), and the state's Governor Ron DeSantis is an excellent, highly popular Conservative. But, do these guys EVEN LIKE HOCKEY?

Then, there was the slight possibilty of Canada becoming our 51st state. During the 4 Nationa Face Off in February, it almost looked like America and Canada might go to war. Before that, I didn't even know that Canucks ever got angry ABOOT anything.

One of these days professional hockey players in Canada will have to muster up enough ANGER and put an end to their Stanley Cup drought. Are they angry ebough to win, or will Florida go for a three-peat? Stay tuned, hockey fans.


Condescending Wonka Reports From The L.A. Riots


Our L.A. Correspondent sends us THIS report:.......

(Dodging cinder blocks and molotov  cocktails): 

So this must be why the local baseball team are called 'the dodgers'.......

Hello, RedSquirrel. This is Condescending Wonka reporting from the MOSTLY PEACEFUL LOS ANGELES 'NO KINGS/ NO ICE' RIOTS, where Masked Mexican Marauders on Motorcycles wave the Mexican flag as they firebomb automobiles. So, is THIS what Karen Bass and Gavin Newsome voters voted for!!!

CNN says that the riot is 'MOSTLY-PEACEFUL' because MOST of the automobiles and buildings in this city have NOT been set on fire......YET!

To say that they are 'protesting ICE and they just want a chance to become 'Americans' is a little like saying that NAZI Germany attacked France during World War 2 because THEY WANTED TO BE FRENCH. Silly leftists.

Governor Greasy Gavin Newsome is blaming President Trump for DARING to ENFOIRCE FEDERAL IMMIGRATION LAW. The Democrats are angry that Trump's Border Enforcement Czar Tom Homan is deporting violent illegal aliens. Of  course they're angry......

Illegal aliens and violent criminals are The Democrat's main voter base! President Trump is really looking for trouble by  making the criminals ANGRY!!!!

Today they're waving Mexican flags, Vemezuelan flags, Honduran Flags, Palestinian flags and many flags from the third world. My question is 'If they love these country's so much, how come they won't go back?'

Uh-Oh, here comes the so-called 'NO KINGS PROTESTERS'.  These protestors believe that bringing law and order and protecting property are what a 'dictator or king' does. HOW DARE TRUMP protect everyday Americans????!!!! 

I'm hearing this:

'WE'RE HERE, AND WE DON'T HAVE TO OBEY YOUR SILLY LITTLE LAWS! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT NOBODY IS ILLEGAL WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT STOLEN LAND! THE AMERICAN SOUTHWEST BELONGS TO MEXICO!!!! WE'RE KOOKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!!!!'

 'FREE AZTLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' FREE PALESTINE!!!!!!!!! FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA!!!! FROM THE GULF OF MEXICO TO THE ARCTIC OCRAN!!!!!'KILL WHITEY AND THE JEW!!!!'

That's all for now here in MOSTLY PEACEFUL LOS UNGLUED! This is Condescending Wonka, back to you, Red.'






Sunday, June 8, 2025

OUR NEW TOP 10 LIST: TOP TEN WAYS THE WNBA WILL TRY TO INCREASE THEIR 'FANBASE'


It appears as if many Black basketball players in The WNBA are TRYING to anger The American People. Last week, The Minnesota Lynx 'honored' thug George Floyd on Memorial Day instead of honoring fallen soldiers. Chicago Sky Forward Angel Reece accuses white fans of 'racism' when she's not hard-fouling the only real superstar of the league, Indiana Fever Guard Caitlan Clark.

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, Here Are The Top Ten Ways The WNBA Plans To Increase Their Fan Base:


10. Draft Obnoxious Ghetto loudmouth Jasmine Crockett.

  9. Black players can loot the concession stand and steal child fans candy courtside

  8. Honor George Floyd with WNBA 'FENTANYL NIGHT'

  7. Go on strike

  6. Make ultra-corrupt California Democrat Representative Maxine Waters League President

  5. Draft undocumented immigrants and dare The Trump Administration to deport them.

  4. Nightly hard foul race war!

  3. Increase ticket prices for White fans and call it 'Our Reparation Special'

  2. Lower the backboard amd basket by three feet so the players can dunk.

  1. Let men compete with the women. The trans activists say it's O.K.!



HEADLINE: THE PRESIDENT AND ELON MUSK FEUD OVER 'BIG BEAUTIFUL' LEGISLATION