A Composite Oscar Acceptance Speech

Here is my composite Oscar award-winner's speech of every speech ever delivered:



Thank you.........Thanks.........Thank you.....

(Insert Donald Trump or Republican joke)

(The character I portrayed) was a (gay, Black, quadriplegic, mentally-challenged, bullied, harassed woman, human, or animal) who was brave and wonderful and lived (his  or her) life on (his or her) terms.....

(My character) conquered (racism, homophobia, inequality, sexism, unequal pay, harassment, mistreatment) with warmth and humanity and it was my incomparable honor to portray this incredible (man, child, woman, victim, transsexual, transvestite,animal or prostitute).

I share with award with every (Gay, Black, quadriplegic, young boy abused by a Catholic priest, mentally-challenged man, woman, boy or girl or any other of the 72 genders in existence).

Tonight, we ARE ALL WINNERS!

I wish to thank my director who couldn't be here tonight because he's a victim of our unjust statutory rape laws which has forced him to run to (foreign country). He is an artistic visionary and he is wonderful and brave and truly a master at his craft.

I want to thank my co-stars. They are wonderful and brave and incredible and dedicated in telling this wonderful and touching story in such a sensitive and brave and wonderful manner.

I thank (God, Allah, Shiva, Harvey Weinstein) for this award.

FREE (SOUTH AFRICA, ALL UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS, MUMIA ABU-JAMAL, WILLY!!!!)