Counterpoint: I Support Climate Change

In the 1970's, Newsweek AND Time magazine warned us of an impending ice age. More recently, junk scientists and Socialist frauds like Al Gore have warned us about global warming.

Now, they are warning us about an all-encompassing global climate change, even though nobody can tell us what the weather will be like five years from now. They just tell us we are heading towards a weather disaster and that it's because of us and our lifestyle based on freedom and choice.

Our wannabe masters warn us against dirty fossil fuels that will destroy the polar bears and the ice in the North Pole. As for Normal-Americans, we like fossil fuels because fossil fuels are plentiful and cheap.

Last week, there was a Climate Townhall, featuring two of the intellectual heavyweights of Socialism....Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

These two believe you are too dumb to run your own lives, and that a progressive elite should dictate your lifestyle.

I have a dumb question for these leftist authoritarians:

Have you been outside today? The weather has been fantastic. In fact, almost every other day, I tell someone out loud that the weather is terrific. Once in a while, I'll even tell a complete stranger that I think today's weather is great and it's a beautiful day.

I think most leftists (at least the ones I see on TV) warning us about climate change are just control freaks and jack-asses at best and they should be shunned.

As a matter of fact, let me say that if man-made climate change is a thing, I'm in support of it! I hear a warmer climate is great for our growing crops. Plus, if you live in a cold climate (like Minnesota) during the Winter months, a warmer Winter would be nothing to complain about.

I would rather be outside if it's 20 degrees than 20 below. If this describes climate change, THEN GIVE ME MORE!!!

I support climate change, and it would be great if you did too. Let's virtue-signal this thing! If you don't support climate change than you're stupid. No, you're a DENIER!

So, do everyone a favor, and keep using those wonderful, dirty fossil fuels.

Things Are Back To Normal At Santa's Toy Shop

Your bushy-tailed correspondent files this report from The North Pole, as Mr. and Mrs. Claus finalize plans for his yearly trip around the world. The activity here is almost not to be believed, as elves work feverishly, building toys and loading Santa's sleigh:

Santa Claus: Yes, I was toying with the idea of delivering some of these toys with flying drones, but I'm not Jeff Bezos, Ho, Ho, Ho....

I've noticed your jolly demeanor has returned.....

I'm very happy that America elected Donald Trump! That insufferable asshole Barack Obama tried to unionize our operation. Also, he tried to force Obamacare down OUR throats!!! Stupid rat bastard!!!

For eight, long years, I had to read these heart-breaking letters from all these sweet kids. Their parents either lost their jobs or had their hours cut because that heartless jack-ass Obama screwed with their health plans!.

I've noticed the letters this year have a much happier tone to them.  

I love the President. He has a history of being very generous, but I don't like your news media or those deep state creeps. That douche Mueller better wrap up this ridiculous investigation or he's getting a reindeer turn in his Christmas stocking!

I hate to admit it, but while that liar Obama was in the White House spreading hate and division all over the world, I was seriously thinking about ending this operation and maybe becoming a defense contractor.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent is glad Santa made it through the Obama administration, and that things are back to normal at Santa's toy shop.

HEADLINE: ECONOMIC ILLITERATE TAKES CREDIT FOR BOOMING ECONOMY