The Pope In Washington: Finally, A 'Christian' Obama Likes

Last week, Dear Leader took a break from his non-stop persecution of Christians to welcome Pope Francis. While Yazidi girls are raped, tortured, and murdered by ISIS butchers, our little dictator welcomed the anti-capitalist pontiff to help him spread his gospel of envy and failure.

I only heard a few lines from the pontiff's speech to Congress, but I understand that he talked about Obama pet cause, Global climate change. This is a serious problem that threatens all life on planet Earth. Right now as I am writing this, it's a Hellish 63 degrees here in Minneapolis. Damn you, global warming.

He also told us that America must do more to combat poverty, because EBT cards, free food stamps, free healthcare, free cell phones, and free housing subsidies ISN'T ENOUGH!!!

The Pope said that all life is sacred, and we need to protect it. Obama took his mic, and added "EXCEPT FOR THE COPS!" I'm not sure if Pope Francis mentioned the Christian holocaust happening across The Middle East. I understand that he agrees with our little dictator that importing 'refugees' from Syria is the 'right thing to do.'

I was just wondering if Francis mentioned Planned Parenthood in his speech. I'm sure it's a sin to butcher live babies, and sell their body parts, but I don't know if The Bible even mentions it.

Did he mention those Yazidi girls being tortured, raped, and murdered? I think I missed it. Well, maybe next time he's in town.

The Pope did perform one miracle while he was in DC. Somehow, he did cause Speaker John Boehner to resign.