Happy Halloween From Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi

Hello, it's the wicked socialist witch of the West, California Representative Nancy Pelosi. 

I'm here at The House of Representative Building, measuring the new drapes I'll be ordering for when The Blue Wave washes away the Republican majority on November 6.

Also, I'm planning our Halloween Party. Dianne Feinstein is already bobbing for bribes with some friends from China.

Members of our Democrat caucus are decked out like AntiFa thugs, breaking into Republican offices and spray-painting their walls. Later on, they will be throwing toilet paper and eggs all over the White House.

Our members are just engaging in some of that 'Democrat civility' you keep hearing about on the news.

After the Democrats take back Congress, expect non-stop investigations! We'll impeach The Great Orange Pumpkin Trump as well as Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh!

Say goodbye to your Trump tax cuts. Next year, scaaaaary IRS agents will replace cute trick-or-treaters at your door!

My Democrat colleagues are putting together some really scary costumes. Representative Maxine Waters will be a scary apple tree from The Wizard of Oz, George Soros will be evil Emperor Palpatine, and New York Senator Charles Schumer will be Grandpa Munster!

As usual, Representative Frederica Wilson will wear what she wears every day, because she believes EVERY day is Halloween.

I just hope the Republicans don't call for an exorcist. The unclean spirit living inside my head wouldn't like that.

That's all for now,

Nancy Pelosi, former and future Speaker of The United States House of Representatives.

Bert And Ernie Sets The Record Straight

Recently, a writer for Sesame Street disclosed that buddies Bert and Ernie are gay. We thought that we'd let the duo respond to this claim:

Bert: Thanks RedSquirrel Report....

Thanks for letting us respond. While, it's true that Ernie and I are very close friends, we have not nor ever had a gay relationship.

Ernie: That's right, Bert. We are two red-blooded, hetero dudes. We like girls. When Bert and I go out, it's boy's night out. I'm his wing-man, because....

Bert: No, Ernie, It's not like that. We're Muppets, and we don't really have any type of sexuality, and.... 

Ernie: Hey buddy, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!!! The writer outed us, and I'm really sick of these political correctness bastards ruining our innocence! Also.....I LIKE GIRLS!!!!

They've ruined education, movies, television, childhood, music, and religion. Now, these pro-Sodomite jerks are telling everyone that we're gay.

Bert: Not that there's anything wrong with that....

Ernie: Dammit Bert, there you go again! You're so wishy-washy and politically-correct! Maybe I should REALLY come out of the closet, and tell the world who I really am!

O.K., here it comes!!! I VOTED FOR DONALD TRUMP, I WATCH FOX NEWS, I WANT ILLEGAL ALIENS OUT OF OUR COUNTRY, AND I LIKE GIRLS!!!!

Bert: Wow, Ernie. I never really thought that much about politics. I thought we were just two lovable characters on a TV show for kids, though adults think we are cute, too.

Ernie: So, if you're a grown man that thinks Bert and Ernie are cute, does that make you gay?

Bert: I don't think so.

Ernie: So, let's wrap this up. Bert and Ernie are not gay. We're Muppets. Our characters are just buddies, and we want to keep our innocence.

Bert: I love you, man.

Ernie: (laughs)

Our Correspondent At The Kavanaugh Hearings

Our correspondent, Sister Mary Brokenknuckles sends us this report:

God Bless......

Mother Mary, full of Grace.....I cannot believe the hate, sin, and dishonesty I am witnessing here at the confirmation hearings for the wonderful Judge Brett Kavanaugh. Last week, I saw pro-abortion protesters obviously possessed by unclean spirits, trying to stop his confirmation.

I saw Minnesota's Senator Amy Klobachar, and I said a little prayer for her soul even though I'm not absolutely certain she has one.

Then, there's the Devilcrats on this committee. Corey Spartacus Booker, Kamala the Great Whore Harris, Richard Da Nang Blumenthal, and the other apostles of Satan. I wanted to say a little prayer for these heathens, but I didn't want to ruin their close, intimate relationship with the evil one.

Then, there was the testimony from the false witness, Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Judge Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her 35 years ago at a party. When her voice changed in the middle of her testimony, I thought she was possessed by a demon. I was going to run out of the chambers and call for an exorcist. She didn't know where or when it happened, or who else was there.

Her hair covered her face, she laughed inappropriately, and she was obviously not credible. She said she had a fear of flying, but she was caught in that lie. She flies all over.

When it was Judge Brett Kavanaugh's turn to testify, he forcefully proclaimed his innocence as Kamala The Great Whore Harris smirked and rolled her eyes. 

I understand that his darling, angelic daughters are praying for his accusers. 

Now, wishy-washy RINO Senator Jeff Flake wants the F.B.I. to investigate this silliness. He thinks that Judge Kavanaugh was being a real meanie to his accusers by showing anger. I think that his soul is possessed by the ghost of John McCain.

Let's remember what this is all about. Pro-abortion activists will do absolutely ANYTHING to stop the confirmation of highly qualified Judge Brett Kavanaugh, and they would destroy him AND his family as a warning to all conservatives. 

Stay out, Godly Conservatives, DC belongs to us!

God Bless.