Ralphie Wiggum: I Support Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez!!!!

Two months ago, political upstart Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pulled off an upset victory in New York's 14th District Democrat primary, defeating State Representative Joe Crowley. Here to comment is our friend from Springfield Elementary School, Ralphie Wiggum.

YAY!!!!

Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez (My mouth is tired after saying her name!) shocked the political world by defeating political insider Joe Crowley. She will face a Republican meanie in November, and hopefully will represent New York's 14th congressional district.

Her eyes are very wide and big, so I'm sure she sees the big picture better than most people. She also has a very pretty smile, so I believe that she is nicer than her opponents,

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a socialist, which is nice. We should strive to be more sociable. 

She wants to share our wealth, which is important. Sharing is nice. She also wants to reunite those kids taken away from their parents on the border by Trump, the orange meanie. 

All the poor people should be allowed to come to America without having to climb over a wall. It's not fair that we have all the money and food, so I hope that someday we can just open the border to everyone.

With Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in Congress, I hope that America will become more like Venezuela. I hear there's free health care and college there.

She also wants Israel to share their country with the Palestinians. Those Jews are bullies, and Casio wants to give their neighbors a home. Many people think that's unpossible, but I believe it can be done!

I hope that you'll vote for her. Some nice Democrats came to my elementary school to get us registered to vote, so I hope to see you at the polls on Election Day!

May the state bless you!

Ralphie

This Is Bullshit (Paul Manafort And Muslim Terrorists)

Former Trump Campaign Director Paul Manafort faces life in prison for tax fraud, but the Muslim terrorists who trained children to carry out school shootings in New Mexico laugh at our country after posting $20,000 bail..

I Do Wha-Eva I Want!!!

When you watch the news, does it ever seem as if liberals have a zero-tolerance policy against common sense? They pass laws banning plastic straws,  Styrofoam food containers, and pop tarts bitten into the shape of a gun.

As liberals pass one ridiculous ban after another, some people are gearing up to protest this silliness. Here with a commentary is rebellious 8-year-old conservative Eric:

So, they're banning plastic straws in California. I'll be smuggling plastic straws by the crate....BECAUSE I DO WHA-EVA I WANT!!!!

After that, I'm gonna go to a restaurant with my Mom, and I'm gonna demand a Styrofoam food container....BECAUSE I DO WHA-EVA I WANT!!!!

When we get home, I'm gonna open a lemonade stand, and when some commie-lib tries to shut me down, I'll point a pop tart bitten into the shape of a gun at 'em and tell 'em GET OFF MY PROPERTY!!! I DO WHA-EVA I WANT!!!!

In fact, I think America's founding fathers told King George WE DO WHA-EVA WE WANT as they dumped the tea off Boston Harbor.....

God bless America.

Eric