Out With Schoolhouse Rock, In With Schoolhouse 'Woke'?

Everything is racist now. The race-baiting, 'woke' mob is tearing down America's history, and It's just a matter of time before Saturday morning will go woke. American history will be cancelled, and we will be forced to watch leftist episodes of Schoolhouse Rock:. Remember 'The Preamble'? It's been 're-written':  

In the year 1619, racist White devils took Black people as slaves

On ships our ancestors were bound

White bigots like Thomas Jefferson put us all in chains

The pink-skinned, genocidal racists tried to destroy the Beautiful Black race

The White founders of America created this evil, unjust place

The evil honkeys wrote The Constitution that said that we should be counted as only

two-thirds of a person, and this RACIST document has been insulting our humanity

ever since......

We The Racist White people of The United States of America

establish racism and promote White supremacy

Force Black slaves to do our work

Us White devils are evil jerks

Our Black brothers and sisters will work the cotton fields

On their backs America will be built

Establish inequality with this Constitution

to themselves and The Racist States of America

It's 2021 we're told, and now we're teaching C.R.T. in the schools

We are rioting and burning down neighborhoods\

Hating the police is so cool

Violent, Marxist Black Lives Matter is changing the whole country

We are cancelling your racist culture and erasing your racist history

Let all 'voices be raised'........Cancel The Preamble with this new song.....

We the oppressed form a new communist, socialist nation

Establish leftist justice all across the country

Provide indoctrination

End the White-dominated, racist nation

Secure the election system

Make Whitey pay reparations

We establish the Cancel Culture of the

Former United States of America!

 

HEADLINE: INSUFFERABLE, RACE-BAITING DOUCHE CAMPAIGNS FOR MCAULIFFE

 

A Biden Voter Goes On 'Let's Make A Deal'

Monty Hall: I am looking for a contestant. You, Sir! I want to give you the prize behind that curtain where Carol Merrill is standing. Carol, open the curtain and show this gentleman the prize......

Announcer Jay Stewart: It's the 2022 super-charged Chevrolet Corvette Stingray (The crowd 'ooh's)

Monty Hall: Now, this beautiful car is all yours, but we are giving you a choice. If you want, you can trade this terrific automobile for what's in this small box. In fact, we'll tell you WHAT'S in this small box. 

Inside the box is a large dog turd. Now, do you want the terrific car, or do you want a dog turd that will confiscate most of your paycheck, take your job away, lie to you, take away your energy independence, and leave Americans behind in Afghanistan?

Contestant: I WANT WHAT'S IN THE BOX, MONTY!!!!!!! That car looks like it could have a conservative radio station on the car radio!

Monty Hall: ARE YOU SURE???? The dog turd also will throw you in his secret prison, accuse you of being a 'domestic terrorist' if you protest him, and threaten your boss if you don't take the jab?

Contestant: I WANT THE BOX!!!!!!!!! 

(cue sad trombone).................................

Casey Kasem: 'Let's Go Brandon!' Dominates The Top 10 This Week!

Hello, welcome to American Top 10. We have a record-breaking, exciting countdown this week. It appears that President Biden has kept his campaign promise to bring the American people together! There is at least EIGHT songs in the TOP 10 with the SAME TITLE (or very similar titles), and that these songs ARE ALL TRIBUTES TO OUR WONDERFUL, BELOVED PRESIDENT!

At #10, The Go-Go's debut in the TOP TEN with their first Top Ten hit since 1984. Here they are with 'Let's Go-Go, Brandon!'

At #9, K.C. and The Sunshine Band drops 2 notches from their peak at #7 with THEIR DISCO HIT 'Shake Your Brandon!'

At #8, The Cars jump ahead 2 notches with 'Let's Go (Brandon)'!

At #7, Sir Mix-Alot remains at the 7 spot with 'Baby Got Brandon'!

At #6, Kool And The Gang jumps 3 big notches with their smash hit, 'Get Down On It, Brandon'.....

At #5, Olivia Newton-John drops down 2 norches with 'Let Me Be There, Brandon.'

At #4, jumping into the TOP 10 is newcomer Loza Alenander with his #1 rap hit, 'Let's Go, Brandon'....

At #3, Thrash Metal pioneers Anthrax (along with N.W.A.'s Flavor Flave and Chuck D) leaps an incredible 20 notches with their censored-uncensored-Def Mix version of 'Bring The Noize/Let's Go, Brandon! 

At #2 for a second, consecutive week is Bo Donaldson And The Heywoods with their MONSTER hit 'Let's Go Brandon, Don't Be A Hero'.....

(Insert drumroll here).....And For the fifth, consecutive week, Debbie Boone delivers the #1 song with her beautiful, stirring LOVE BALLAD, 'Let's Go, Brandon!'

Will Brandon be #1 next week? We'll find out next week! Until then, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars! So long, everybody!

If The Biden Regime Ran A Subway Sandwich Shop

I was listening to The Buck and Clay Radio Show the other day and they were talking about how little trust they had in the Biden regime. They mentioned that Biden and his underlings shouldn't be trusted to run a Subway sandwich shop. 

It made me wonder HOW they would conduct their business........

First of all, they wouldn't BUY a Subway Sandwich Shop franchise, but they would STEAL one from the previous owner. They would slander the guy who owned the shop, then bring violent thugs to the shop until the owner is driven out of his own business. 

A 6-inch meatball marinera would cost about $60. Each meatball would cost about $17 because cows cause climate change.

If a customer has a complaint, Biden would send Vice-Assistant Manager Kamala Harris to deal with the dissatisfied customer. She would just cackle in the customer's face like a hyena.

Senile Manager Biden would make sure you're wearing your Covid mask, and ask you if you've had your Covid vaccination. You would be kicked out if you can't present your Covid passport. After you've been kicked out, he'd send 2 F.B.I. agents to follow you to your residence.

The corrupt manager would find out where you're employed, and demand that your boss fire you because you're not vaccinated (or you voted for Trump).

If you go back to Biden's Subway Shop to confront the jerk, he'll have the police arrest you as a 'domestic terrorist' or 'insurrectionist.'Then, you'd be imprisoned in one of Manager Biden's Secret Subway Shop prisons.

Illegal aliens and Biden voters would get a special coupon. They would get a free sandwich, and Biden would send you the bill.

Manager Biden would hire gays, transgendered persons, and Communists, and keep them even if they can't do (or won't do) the job. Gay, male employees get 2 months of paid paternity leave.

All oil products would be imported from The Middle East, and 1 squeeze from a squeeze bottle would cost $5.

The overhead menu will be replaced by a single word in very large letters, 'UNITY.'

Manager to the manager to the manager Jen Psaki will just lie to you in a very snarky manner if you have any questions concerning your order. If you complain about the $50 sandwich that used to cost $6, she will blame the previous owner.

If a Muslim comes into the Biden Subway sandwich shop, the employees quickly remove ALL pork products from the sandwich bar. Men will be allowed in the women's bathroom.

Once a week, George Soros, Barack Obama, Gavin Newsom, and Susan Rice will come and eat maskless. They would leave a $1,000,000 tip on their 'special customers' table. Biden would send half of the tip to The Chinese Communist Party.

Obnoxious CNN host Brian Stelter would be hired as the new Subway Corporate spokesperson. Mark Zuckerberg will be hired to force the closing of all other fast food resteraunts within a 100 mile radius.

Eventually, the Biden Subway Sandwich Shop will cause a Hellish food desert. Even grocery stores will be threatened with closure.. Hunger Games will become a reality.

Reporting From The Biden White House Halloween Party

I am here reporting from The White House, and the Biden Halloween party is in full swing. The progressive partiers are taking a break from their legislative onslaught of America, and many of them are bobbing for bribes in The Main Ballroom.

HHS Director Dr. Rachel Carson has arrived as the man she used to be before her gender re-assignment surgery, Dr. Robert Carson. I bet every day is Halloween for Rachel!

First Lady Dr. Jill Biden and Dr. Antony Fauci are passing out vaccine-laced syringes for the trick-or-treaters. This party is being sponsored by Johnson and Johnson and Moderna.

Oh look! Ilhan Omar, Maxine Watters, and several other members of 'The Squad' are decked out as BLM thugs! Scary!

We understand gaslighting duo Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo from CNN have arrived in a horse costume. Remind Don to stay clear of the bean dip!

We asked Dr. Jill if her husband will be joining the party. She told us that he went to bed about 5 hours ago. This party is WAY past his bedtime.

Wow! General Mark Milley and his 'counterpart' Chi-Com general are here as 'The Thing With Two Heads'. Remember that movie classic, starring Ray Milland and football great Rosey Greer?

We hear that someone tried to crash this party in an Aunt Jemima costume, but her invitation was 'cancelled.' We have been told that The White House is crawling with F.B.I. agents, If any normal, hard-working Americans try to crash this party they will be arrested and taken to one of the Biden Secret Prisons, and charged as a 'domestic terrorist.' 

Oh look! Biden Press Secretary Jen Psaki has arrived as her hero, former Soviet dictator and mass-murderer Joe Stalin! That is one BUSHY moustache! She is hobknobbing with 'Barb and Mike Obama.' 

Remember, this is a Democrat party, so Covid masks are not mandatory. Covid masks are for the little people!

Here comes Democrat sugardaddy George Soros, in his Emperor Palpatine costume. What a spooky guy!

Joe forgot to buy a pumpkin, so they have no Jack-o-Lantern. NY Representative Gerrold Nadler is sitting by the window. Is it just me, or does Representative Adam Schiff look like he's just seen a ghost?

Kamala Harris couldn't be here tonight, because she's hard at work in Cancun.

Look! Senator Bernie Sanders has arrived as Karl Marx and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as Vietnamese Communist leader Ho Chi Minh. The White House is just CRAWLING with communists!

Well, that all for now. Our scary party is in full swing, and it appears that with the budget and infrastructure bills making their way through Congress, these Democrat ghouls are about to make life VERY scary for the American taxpayer!

Good night and good luck.

 

Happy Indigenous Life Form Day!

 We here at RSR wish to propose a brand new federal holiday for indiigenous life forms everywhere. It should be celebrated on the second Tuesday in October (the day after Columbus Day).

This holiday honors that terrific scene from Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, where maniac Khan 'introduces the only remaining indigenous life form on Ceti Alpha 5'. He sticks the terrifying creature in his victim's ear, where it takes control over the victim's mind. It's a little like the mainstream news media.