And Now, The Barack Obama Polar Vortex Weather Report

Mother Nature is fighting back against global warming this week, as the Polar Vortex is bringing relief against climate change to much of America.

In Minnesota, wind chills of 60 below will definitely help in our battle against global warming, the greatest threat to this nation's national security. It's 20 below in Chicago. We're trying to get a wind-chill reading, but our weather equipment keeps shattering.

From North Dakota to the New England states, temperatures are more less where they should be, even though the current occupant of The White House has brought back the dirty coal industry, so we're expecting dangerously hot weather this Summer.

I urge everyone to stay indoors and wait for your welfare check. Stay inside and watch CNN and MSNBC! (singing: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost tearing off your face....)

If you're one of those right-wingers with a job, you'll have to bundle up....I guess.

Back to you, Peter and Grace....................

Don't Stop Talib Kweli, He's Rolling

Historian / Rapper Talib 'Bluto' Kweli rants: 

Adolf Hitler built a wall called the Berlin Wall. The White Nazi racists built it to keep dark-skinned Spaniards and Italians out of Germany's Southern border!

When Hitler broke up families and put 'em on rail cars, that's EXACTLY the same as the orange racist Trump breaking up families along our Southern border!!!! He's got concentration camps in New Mexico!!!!

IN FACT, TRUMP HAS MEXICAN SLAVES WORKING IN THE HOT SUN RIGHT NOW!!!! THAT'S WHY THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE'S SO LOW!!!! THEY'RE COUNTING TRUMP'S SLAVES AS 'EMPLOYED!!!!'

Don't stop Talib Kweli. He's rolling.

This Week On 'That's Incredibly Sick!'

This week on That's Incredibly Sick!....

Join our hosts Fran Tarkenton, Cathy Lee Crosby, and John Davidson reporting from The New York Senate.

The members of this governing body votes for the right to abort unborn babies right up to the due date.

Watch, as blood-thirsty Democrat Governor Andrew Cuomo signs this infanticide legislation into law, and the psychopaths who run New York cheer wildly as this horrific law goes into effect.

Then, watch the governor tell members of the press that pro-lifers aren't welcome in New York....

....this week on That's Incredibly Sick!

Twas The Night Before The Democrat Takeover (By Ilhan Omar)

Twas the night before The Democrat Takeover, and all through The House
We were planning for jihad, including my brother my spouse
While the media sucks up to Farrakhan and CAIR
We were plotting and planning, and ass-up in prayer

We were so exited, we could barely catch our breath
Soon The Great Satan will be sent to her death
With Mother in her hijab and me in my religious head dress
I thanked Allah for dhimmis voting me into Congress

I thought about Election Night and all the Democrat loons
along with the suck-ups at KARE11 and the Star-Tribune
With Keith Ellison as AG we'll be assuming control
World domination and jihad we are reaching our goal!

Then, I took out my cell phone and taunted Mike Pence
Some were offended....To others, it made no sense
At my swearing-in I'll cover my head
Soon. infidels and taxpayers will be living under slavery or dead

So, we'll raise taxes! and regulations! 
...and welfare too!
Thousands more Muslim migrants we'll paint your country blue
Millions of illegals, America will be our sanctuary state
with TB and AIDS, we'll swing open the gate

Then, we will impeach Trump, Infidels will pay our jizya tax
We'll confiscate your guns, We'll be breaking your backs
One more message to all you Jews and infidels
You'll suffer sticker shock when you get your tax bill........

Goodnight, America.

The Democrat's Agenda

Last week, House Democrats assumed the majority for the first time in 8 years, and quickly got to work. Here are the first 10 items on Speaker Nancy Pelosi's agenda:

10. Impeach President Trump

 9. Throw the president's family in jail. Even his 12-year-old son Barron.

 8. Use taxpayer funds to pay for every abortion performed anywhere on planet Earth.

 7. Make everything that liberals like mandatory, and ban everything that Republicans like.

 6. Oppose the building of a wall across American-Mexican border. Make human traffickers, drug dealers, criminals, rapists, murderers, and illegal immigrants feel welcome.

 5. Cut funding to American military

 4. End Climate Change. Make it illegal for the temperature to dip below 45 or over 50 degrees.

 3. Guarantee an income of $30,000 for every American. Introduce 70% income tax for each American earning over $100,000. Members of Congress are exempted.

 2. Free healthcare for all, and by all, I mean 'Everyone on Planet Earth.'

 1. A national hotline to report any criticism/hate speech against Islam

Counterpoint: I Support Climate Change

In the 1970's, Newsweek AND Time magazine warned us of an impending ice age. More recently, junk scientists and Socialist frauds like Al Gore have warned us about global warming.

Now, they are warning us about an all-encompassing global climate change, even though nobody can tell us what the weather will be like five years from now. They just tell us we are heading towards a weather disaster and that it's because of us and our lifestyle based on freedom and choice.

Our wannabe masters warn us against dirty fossil fuels that will destroy the polar bears and the ice in the North Pole. As for Normal-Americans, we like fossil fuels because fossil fuels are plentiful and cheap.

Last week, there was a Climate Townhall, featuring two of the intellectual heavyweights of Socialism....Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

These two believe you are too dumb to run your own lives, and that a progressive elite should dictate your lifestyle.

I have a dumb question for these leftist authoritarians:

Have you been outside today? The weather has been fantastic. In fact, almost every other day, I tell someone out loud that the weather is terrific. Once in a while, I'll even tell a complete stranger that I think today's weather is great and it's a beautiful day.

I think most leftists (at least the ones I see on TV) warning us about climate change are just control freaks and jack-asses at best and they should be shunned.

As a matter of fact, let me say that if man-made climate change is a thing, I'm in support of it! I hear a warmer climate is great for our growing crops. Plus, if you live in a cold climate (like Minnesota) during the Winter months, a warmer Winter would be nothing to complain about.

I would rather be outside if it's 20 degrees than 20 below. If this describes climate change, THEN GIVE ME MORE!!!

I support climate change, and it would be great if you did too. Let's virtue-signal this thing! If you don't support climate change than you're stupid. No, you're a DENIER!

So, do everyone a favor, and keep using those wonderful, dirty fossil fuels.

Things Are Back To Normal At Santa's Toy Shop

Your bushy-tailed correspondent files this report from The North Pole, as Mr. and Mrs. Claus finalize plans for his yearly trip around the world. The activity here is almost not to be believed, as elves work feverishly, building toys and loading Santa's sleigh:

Santa Claus: Yes, I was toying with the idea of delivering some of these toys with flying drones, but I'm not Jeff Bezos, Ho, Ho, Ho....

I've noticed your jolly demeanor has returned.....

I'm very happy that America elected Donald Trump! That insufferable asshole Barack Obama tried to unionize our operation. Also, he tried to force Obamacare down OUR throats!!! Stupid rat bastard!!!

For eight, long years, I had to read these heart-breaking letters from all these sweet kids. Their parents either lost their jobs or had their hours cut because that heartless jack-ass Obama screwed with their health plans!.

I've noticed the letters this year have a much happier tone to them.  

I love the President. He has a history of being very generous, but I don't like your news media or those deep state creeps. That douche Mueller better wrap up this ridiculous investigation or he's getting a reindeer turn in his Christmas stocking!

I hate to admit it, but while that liar Obama was in the White House spreading hate and division all over the world, I was seriously thinking about ending this operation and maybe becoming a defense contractor.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent is glad Santa made it through the Obama administration, and that things are back to normal at Santa's toy shop.