Part 2: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day

Here is part 2 of our special report on Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. We begin our report on the front lawn of evil, bigoted evangelist Billy Graham, who has urged the American people to support Chick-fil-A:

"Christian bigots unite! Show your undying hatred for the Sodomites by supporting Chick-fil-A!"

Oh, this just in: Evangelist Billy Graham didn't say that.

Meanwhile, more Americans are standing in lines all across the country. As another happy customer walks out the door with their bag of fried food, the crowd cheers. There is a party atmosphere at this Chick-fil-A.

I asked one homosexual customer if he had trouble placing an order, he said:

Damn, these are the nicest bigots I've ever come across. One bigoted employee asked me if I'd like a re-fill, then another hard-working bigot took my garbage away!

Meanwhile, in Rahm Emanuel's city of Chicago, no one's singing the blues. As gunshots echo on the South side, happy Americans wait in line for their little piece of fried heaven.

Scores of smiling bigots discuss free speech and the upcoming election, before getting their opportunity to place their order. Friendly, cheerful employees were on hand to offer prompt, courteous service:

"Say, Miss, do you have any recommendations for a hungry, hate-filled, anti-gay bigot"?

As the day drew to a close, Chick-fil-A smashed sales records all across the country. What began as another Alinskyite scheme to intimidate and silence an American businessman for his deeply-held beliefs turned into a monstrously successful celebration of American freedom.

America got a little fatter yesterday, but it was fun to stick it to the joyless, leftist bullies who went after an American businessman.

The RedSquirrel Report salutes you, Dan Cathy. Burp!