Thursday, June 30, 2016

Red Forman: Obama Happens......

Our correspondent Red Forman returns with this commentary:

My conservative friends ask me "Red, how did we get where we are today? There's a clown in the White House who hates America, and GOP cowards in the majority who won't stand up for us?" 

I don't spend a lot of time really thinking about it. I spend most of my time keeping my idiot son Eric out of trouble, and worrying about my darling daughter Laurie. She flunked out of college last month.

Usually, I just shrug my shoulders and say 'Shit happens.' Lately, I've replace that with "Obama happens." Maybe Eric and his friends can print up some t-shirts.

Then, the guys ask me HOW did Obama happen? Well, there's a lot of ingredients in this crap stew, and lots of blame to go around.

There's our race-obsessed media, political correctness, and college universities that make it trendy to blame America for all the evils in the world.

There's the generation of spoiled, ungrateful, arrogant baby boomer hippies who ruined this country. They don't see themselves as Americans, but 'citizens of the world.' When Obama told us he was going to 'fundamentally transform' America, they saw it as a good thing. They don't care if he transforms America into a country overran by Muslim troublemakers, illegal aliens, and dependent welfare recipients.

These self-centered snowflakes wanted to make history by voting for The Black Guy. It didn't matter how much he detested our country.

These grey-haired children want to see a world without borders, and agree with Dear Leader when he tells hard-working Americans 'You didn't build that.' When you can successfully denigrate the makers in our society, you can steal whatever you want by voting for it.

And, worse of all, we have an opposition intimidated into silence. Obama and his little helpers rob you, and transport illegals who murder innocent Americans, spread diseases and bring chaos. Then these 'community organizers' accuse you of being a racist for opposing it.

That's how Obama happens.........

Monday, June 27, 2016

Democrats Have A Hissy Fit

Following the mass murder at Orlando's Pulse Nightclub by Muslim extremist Omar Mateen, Congressional Democrats thought the time was right to pass some anti-gun legislation. They tried to get pro-Constitutional Republicans to join them, but failed.

Georgia Democrat John Lewis and his little friends decided that since they couldn't get what they wanted, these elected officials would behave like the brat in the grocery store. When mommy refuses to buy some candy, brats terrorize mommy by having a great big hissy fit.

These brats embarrassed the country in much the same way a bratty child in the grocery store embarrasses mommy.

The Democrat Children staged a sit-in, making the House of Representatives look more like a romper room. The freedom-stealing Dems placed their fat bottoms on the carpeting, while Republicans refused to play their game. Your bushy-tailed correspondent believes that Speaker Paul Ryan should have stuck great big pacifiers in their mouths, or sent them off to their room without supper.

The sit-in was reminiscent of the Occupy Wall Street protests, though no one we know has seen any Democrat Representatives taking a dump on any police cars. Not yet, anyway.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

And Now, A Message From The Office Of Our Pathological Liar AG

Well, they released most of the 911 call that Orlando mass-murderer Omar Mateen made while he was carrying out his mission.

He obviously was quite fond of ISIS, and wanted everyone to know that he was an adherent to the religion of peace who practiced it in the most violent way imaginable. Barack Obama's Attorney General Loretta Lynch thought that it was best that she would hide the portion of the shooter's call where he told the police that he was indeed a Muslim carrying out jihad.

Our 6-year-old president wants to take this evil deed done by Mateen and blame it on Republicans, The NRA, and gun-owning, law-abiding Americans. Once again, our power-drunk anti-American dictator is using murdered Americans to push for anti-gun legislation. It's as if  he sees murdered Americans as broken eggs for his omelette of gun control and a more centralized power.

Human suffering bores him. What excites him is using human suffering to feed his extreme lust for power.

Obama and Lynch don't seem to go out among the people much, thinking that their lies aren't going to be seen by normal Americans. These pathological liars deny that Mateen is a hateful, blood-thirsty jihadist. It's incredible that we have people like this running our country.

They'd have more credibility if they hired Tommy Flanagan from The Pathological Liars of America to be the AG spokesman:

Hello, this is Tommy Flanagan, Spokesman for Attorney General Loretta Lynch. In fact, I'm THE PRESIDENT of the Attorney General's office!

As you know, Omar Mateen murdered 49 Americans at The Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. It was a gay nightclub, but Omar didn't know he was murdering gays. We are releasing the 911 calls he made while murdering these people.

Mateen said he was carrying out a jihad, which is a kind of violence that gun-carrying, hateful LUTHERANS commit.....Yeah, that's the ticket!


Evil conservatives don't believe in same-sex marriage.....WHICH IS WHY OMAR THE LUTHERAN MURDERED ALL THOSE GAY PEOPLE!!!!

So, in closing, I want to pass on a message from our wonderful Attorney General Loretta Lynch.


Thank you.

Tommy Flanagan, Spokesman for Attorney General Loretta Lynch

Our Resident Expert Addresses The Mass Murder In Orlando

In the worst mass-shooting in this country's history, violent Muslim extremist Omar Mateen murdered 49 Americans and seriously wounded 50 more at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. The Obama regime is still denying the fact that the killer praised Allah during his murder spree, and that the murderer considered himself a soldier for jihad.

So, we asked our expert on everything, Professor Walter Turgeson, to comment:

Thanks, Red.

So, our nine-year-old president and our friends at CNN still don't want to admit that Omar Mateen was a violent, militant Muslim jihadist who hated gays AND Americans. These leftist clowns are still blaming the gun(s) that he used in this evil act.

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Obama and the rest of these dummkopfs MAKE ME SICK!!!

Get your heads out of your asses, you brain-dead denialists! Muteen was a violent, hateful Muslim Extremist!!! SAY IT!!!!! SAY IT!!!!!

Friday, June 10, 2016

What Miss California Should Have Said

During the question and answer portion of last week's Miss USA Pageant, a judge asked Miss California Nadia Mejia a rediculous, leftist question concerning income inequality.

The beauty contestant flubbed and stammered for a cringe-worthy moment. She should've told the judge that her question was stupid. Then, she should have called income inequality what it really is....

Income diversity.

Finally, she should have said that she supports income diversity.

Monday, June 6, 2016


Welcome to Obama's fundamental transformation of America. Many of us Romney voters predicted that this is what the second term of Obama would look like.